All this water and not a drop to drink.

You know how having a new crush is so exciting?

All the lil butterflies, and getting a little giddy when you know you’re going to see them… the anticipation and excitement (…and, if you’re me, the new material for, uh, fantasizing….)

New crushes aren’t always fun. Sometimes? They’re just a pain in the ass.

Ugh.

Look. As I may have mentioned (here and here) , I’m not looking for relationship. Not that I wouldn’t welcome a good thing if it plopped down in my lap (which it practically would have to do, given my world these days), but really? My life is full and I am happy. The only thing missing at this point? Really good sex. On a really regular basis. Like every day (I know The Naked Redhead hears me). That would be good. Naw… that would be great.


But. Given my life, I can ignore that sometimes. I kind of have to.

See, despite the fact that I’ve discussed my openness to NSA sex, I actually have pretty strict standards for those I allow into my bed. Yes, they happen to be generally physical in nature. And ok fine, maybe that makes me somewhat shallow, but I feel like I am allowed to be. And there is a very different set for a relationship beyond sex – but that’s for another time. The point is, my standards mean I don’t meet many people I want to fuck. I don’t online date (tried it, didn’t like it, and frankly don’t have the extra time), I don’t meet many people period – given my job (etc) and the fact that I usually go out with friends, often a large group of them, and not to meet anyone. And most in my neck o’ the woods don’t meet my standards anyway. So (don’t berate me for being shallow – it punishes me enough as is).

However. In the two weeks or so? Seem to be quite a few rather attractive individuals just, well, showing up. Well, aren’t you just a tall drink…and here I am so very thirsty…

However to that however. What do you mean you’re saltwater?


One is Adorable with Dimples but I don’t know him and see him even less. Poop.


One is married.


One is engaged (although we’ve recently discussed the fact that she’ll let me know the minute her fiance is ok with a threesome. And if she were single, we’d totally be doing it).


One thinks she likes girls, but really she’s just curious about girl sex. Totally fine with me. I love girl sex. Problem: She’s way too nervous to make the leap. We made out in a parking lot once and she couldn’t stop giggling. That was rather annoying.

And the last one? Well. That’s where the whole crush thing comes in.

Can people tell when you download their FB pics? I hope not.

My burlesque company often performs with a live band. Most recently, there’s a new one I didn’t really know as I’ve been MIA for a bit (the whole off-to-Europe thing).

Dear readers, I introduce T-Bone (…and then high-fived myself for that awesomely bad nickname).

Yep. A dude in a band. That’s like a bartender, right? Awesome.

Anyways. I’m just introducing him. There’s no real story to tell. Much as I wish there was. I can’t get a good read on him, and in my book? Translates to disinterest. Which is totally fine, there are a lot (I think I made this point earlier) of people in the world that I find unattractive. But. It’s just… not entirely a no… It’s more… unclear and mixed. Actually, I haven’t exactly had any good opportunities to assess this, really. Plus, one of our mutual friends is telling me he just may be wary and unsure of himself…

See, T-Bone is fresh from a divorce (oh joy). His ex apparently cheated on him (but they’re still friends…?) And. He was not always as cute as he is now. Apparently he’s lost a lot of weight recently.

These are details our mutual friend is feeding me because she thinks I shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss him. Of course, I am happy to listen to her. Because I want to get laid. By T-Bone. A lot (which quantifies the frequency of the laying).

You know what I’d like to do? Just send him an e-mail that says “Hey, you’re cute. Wanna do me?” OK, maybe not that, exactly. But I wish it were ok for me to contact him and tell him that I’m interested – but not in anything serious, so no pressure. Just some sex, really.


But. That’s not how this works, is it? I can’t just do that. Sure, there are occasions where it is. But. Sometimes? People would rather you play by the Rules – because the Rules they understand. Other times, it’s just intimidating. Or they just don’t plain believe you. Who trusts something that simple? No one. Clearly, by being clear, you’re really looking for something you say you’re not. Did I mention I just go divorced? I really don’t want a relationship right now. And yes, “a relationship” was what I translated your contact to mean – I didn’t pay attention to what you actually said about just wanting some do-ing.

But of course his current situation may very well be the reason T-Bone is completely off limits. I.e. “No, you can’t have sex with him – hello every word you ever said about people taking time off after relationships to be alone and process, now that is negotiable because you want to do them? Yeah, no”.


Which means, despite wanting to get laid a lot by this attractive Band Member (ha ha double meaning!), I should probably avoid him, regardless of his interest. And maybe he’s incapable of interest – maybe he’s hung up on the ex (e.g. why are they still acting like they’re friends if she was awful?).

End result with T-bone? I should probably just Charge him to the Game.

…buuuuuuut… who cares about the ex or the divorce – it’s just sex… Shut up, Vagina Brain, you’re not helping things… Gawd I just hate it when rational thought interrupts me being purely selfish.

Augh. And thus – crushes can be irritating.

What do you think, dear Reader? Should I Charge him? Or is my VB right in telling me a physical relationship with him is just fine?

And, if so, is it ok to just contact someone like this? Would you be ok with it, if someone contacted you?

… stay tuned…