Update: T-Bone and his Questionable Cojones.
Wish I did, kids. Wish I did.
Basically? Aside from my life beginning to resemble high school and T-Bone making it clear he has no game/needs to grow a pair? Not much has transpired.
SO. First? Well, cue two weeks of other people occasionally discussing this via g-chat. I don’t have g-chat, so I wasn’t part of the conversation. Hence the my life is starting to resemble high school thing. Buuuuut… end result seemed to be a green light/lots of discussion about my [alleged] hotness, so I wasn’t complaining too far beyond the eye roll.
Whatever. Since then, I’ve seen him out twice. Once was to see his band play after he mentioned the show to me two days before. He’s still cute but… mildly socially awkward with little to no game. Which is not that surprising when you were married for ten years and you’re not yet 30 (no shit kids – found this out too). However, there has been some interesting conversation, while mildly awkward (although not sure if it’s his awkwardness or just the normal hey-this-is-the-awkward-conversation-that-happens-with-people-you-want-to-talk-to-but-don’t-know-very-well), seemed to include a good vibe between us.
In my opinion? Green light confirmed.
After his show Saturday, I stayed long enough that it was pretty damn clear why I was there. And… he cock-blocked himself. By attaching himself to his brother. I have no better way to describe it. Yes, that may seem like a good indicator that he’s not interested, but he still acted like he was. His brother was just there, so no funny business. He insisted on hugging me before I left.
He doesn’t hug.
Regardless. At this point, I was pretty much ready to just lay my cards on the table and be done with it. No one, not him or any of his bandmates, was in the dark on how I felt about the situation, so I had nothing to lose.
Hence, the following:
Sent: Sunday, March 6 at 6:20pm
While this comes as no surprise (to, well, anyone at this point), I’m pretty interested in hanging out with you more. I’m not looking for a relationship, and I can appreciate your situation with being separated – I just want to have fun.
[my phone number goes here]
I had good time last night. You guys put on a great show and, like we said, the crowd was pretty much amazing.
Hope you guys enjoyed the rest of the evening…
[my real name goes here]
Sent: Monday, March 7 at 9:54am
hey [nikki], your unspoken feelings weren’t lost on me the last few times i saw you. if i seem a little distant, that’s on purpose. putting it bluntly, i’m flat broke because of the separation, and short on time because of the commute and the band… i don’t really go out except to play bluegrass at the pub and sometimes see jazz there on sundays. i use that mostly to unwind.
that said, i’m not trying to push you away either. if you don’t mind seeing me occasionally at the pub, it’s definitely nice to clink glasses with someone and catch up.
First of all. Why is it so difficult for people to use the shift key these days? Is it really that taxing?
Second. Feelings? What feelings? I think you’re cute and wanna know how your dick works. I know that’s probably you trying to be wordy/actually being awkward, but still… feelings?
Third. Why is it so effing difficult for people to believe a woman when she says she’s not looking for a relationship?
Finally. Let’s look at this from a general perspective. Yes, us ladies can be overanalytical. Yes, we pick apart every lil thing you say to us. Do we need to cut this the fuck out and stop looking for the answers we want while ignoring the ones right in front of us? Abso-friggin’-lutely.
However. Fellas? And any one else who wants to write an e-mail like this one? There may actually BE a reason we overanalyze your shit. Why?
BECAUSE WE’RE NOT ENTIRELY SURE WHAT IT IS YOU’RE SAYING.
Maybe if you actually came out and said what you were thinking/answered the question directly (e.g. were actually blunt), we wouldn’t overanalyze. We wouldn’thave to try and figure out what the fuck you mean. If you already know we can nit-pick the crap out of things, why do leave the door open for it in the first place? For the love!
I mean… my initial reaction to this is the following…
That was blunt? Really? What does this even mean? Are we going to be buddies now? I guess? Not sure? What part of “have fun” means there needs to be time and money? Did I say “date”? Maybe I should have been more specific about this? Are you explaining to me that you can’t “date” but you want to hang out? Which is what I asked for? WHEN CAN THE BANGING COMMENCE?
…or are you blowing me off? Cuz it sounds like that, too… or not…
Why do some people insist on the random 180 in the middle of whatever it is they’re saying? Why ruin a perfectly fine Blow Off? Is it to make you feel better about it? Is it because you think you’re letting us down easier? Because, newsflash kids, it doesn’t do either. It just annoys us and makes us wonder what the fuck does that mean?
Look. I know you don’t want to feel like an ass, but we’d really prefer a straight goddamn answer. Providing that doesn’t make you an asshole, so stop pussy-footing around and grow a pair. Do us all a favor and actually be blunt.
Because, to me, without that? It’s a “thanks but no thanks” answer. With some lame-ass shit thrown in so you feel better about it.
I think. I’m not entirely sure.
This whole cycle of responding to a direct question with bullcrap that is everything but blunt actually, and the receiver of said e-mail spending time deciphering what it all means, ends here. YES women can overanalyze – but you know what? When you start providing straight answers that don’t invite alternative translations, we’ll stop hunting for the answers we want in what it is you’re trying to tell us.
I don’t have the time for vague bullshit or to deal with another Boy who expects someone else to read between his fucking lines because he lack the cojones to actually be blunt – to either say “yes” or “no”.
Further, T-Bone, let me school you on what being blunt actually means.
Sent: Monday, March 7 at 5:59pm
Totally hear you on the money/time thing (divorce on your end, 7 weeks in Europe last fall on mine – I win). When I said “hang out”, I meant that literally: I prefer to include my friends in what spare time I have, so meeting up at bars (etc) is pretty much what I was thinking, as well.
That being said, I much prefer blunt and honest over any alternative, so I’ll be straightforward, too. I am not looking to date right now. Like yours, my life is full and all I’m interested in is having a good time and having some sex. That’s pretty much it. However, I don’t think we’re on the same page here – which is totally ok. Staying on the friends side of things works just fine (seriously – e-mail is about the worst form of communication, so please don’t read more into this – it really is cool with me).
SO yeah – I am sure I will see you around, and we can catch up then.
Do you know how badly I wanted to put quotation marks around “catch up”? I mean, really? Catch up on what?
For more on this clearly touchy subject:
Or, if you need more blunt delivery, check it here.