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Guest post!

March 3, 2011

Today I’m once again over at the fabulous Met Another Frog! That crew is pretty much fantastic and they’ve been so supportive of me – plus they have great writers and subject matter. Please make sure to check them out regularly! This month, they’re featuring First Times – the good, the bad… the awesome and the terrible (e.g. a first kiss turned near-death experience anyone?).

My contribution is about my first time with a woman. I talked about her a little bit here.

This post is not my usual thing. Yeah, naturally I try to take some lessons from it (of course), but… I rarely wander into the territory of my own heartbreak on this blog.

Kids, let me level with you. It’s not a happy story – but, like I said, we can all learn from our mistakes. Check it out here.

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12 Comments leave one →
  1. March 3, 2011 9:29 am

    It was a great post. Very powerful and filled with all those things that seem to exit our brains when we end up in a whirl-wind relationship at times.

    Not that I am an expert on whirl-wind relationships but as they say, it is better to have had it and learned than not at all. As you said, seeing this girl with all the good and not so good things thrown in, opened up your world in a way it wouldn’t have done otherwise. For many that will never be the case or if so, much later in their lives.

    • March 3, 2011 1:12 pm

      Thanks, Ivy!

      I do think it’s better to have had it in this case – because of what it meant for me to discover about myself, the other friendships that were established, the things I learned… but mainly for discovering the fluidity of my own sexuality. That has been really amazing.

      BUT. The entire thing was SO PAINFUL and awful… there is so much I regret and it really was the most difficult time in my life. Even though I know better, it’s hard not to wish I hadn’t had to go through it – but it’s easier now than it was. Oh, time.

      • March 3, 2011 1:20 pm

        Glad you feel better now then. 🙂

  2. March 3, 2011 11:24 pm

    Poignant story, well told. Love really IS crazy, isn’t it? At least, it can be.

    • March 4, 2011 3:07 pm

      Thanks, lady. It most definitely can be bonkers. Yee-ouch. One thing that seems to be somewhat universal is the experience of heartbreak.

  3. March 4, 2011 11:57 am

    Wow, that was a great guest post girl, I truly felt your emotions.

    I’m going back to re-read it…

    • March 4, 2011 3:08 pm

      Hey, thank you Simmarah! It’s a tough thing for me to get back into… very emotional. I’m glad you liked it!

  4. March 4, 2011 1:53 pm

    Such a great post! I can relate to the whole getting caught up in what people say thing. I spent almost an entire year of my life with a guy who said all these amazing things to me. A guy who I thought really loved me. Until one day he said one of the worst things I have ever been told in my life. Then it really hit me that even though he said those things, he didn’t really show me. And telling me what he told me definitely was not an act of love but selfishness. It totally put it all in perspective for me. It hurt like hell and I still have a hard time with it all sometimes. But, like you said, even though it hurts it helps you to discover so much about yourself and about life.

    • March 6, 2011 3:46 pm

      Exactly. It’s amazing how often we allow words to be what is meaningful, instead of actions – be that actions that negate the words, or the absence of action at all. We want what we hear to be true, so we ignore all evidence to the contrary.

      It ends up being very painful, and SO difficult to move past. But when you finally do, it’s easier to understand what happened, and to learn and grow as a result. However, I think some things stay with us for a very long time, if not our entire lives. The key is to put emphasis on what was learned, to set down the baggage, and to just accept the permanent bruise on your heart – without allowing it to affect your life or future relationships.

      Thanks for the support, Jess!

  5. March 6, 2011 4:07 pm

    I have a similarly-themed post forthcoming about my 12, 318th time with a woman.

    Strange timing, huh?

    • March 7, 2011 9:42 am

      I’m not surprised. It’s our spiritual connection.

      Did I say “spiritual”? I meant sexual.

  6. March 7, 2011 3:10 am

    Brilliant post, Nikki.

    I’ve always been one of those people who focuses on the words rather than the actions. Mostly because doing so allows me to rationalize my fear of commitment.

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