Do actions speak louder?
Canada’s been gone for, oh, almost three weeks now.
Oh, sorry, no – not gone-gone. Just, went-bounding-off-to-the-woods-for-field-research-gone.
One thing I get asked when people find out he’s been gone so long is how often do we talk – I think it’s one way people gauge our level of interest in each other, and how serious things are. My answer is not really what people expect, kinda like my answer to “what do you guys do together?“
“Well… I’ve had a couple texts from him.”
You can probs envision the general response this gets, especially when it was two texts, both in response to me.
See, Canada ain’t that into communication. No, scratch that. Canada is great at communication when we’re face-to-face. But e-mail? Phone calls? Texting? Not so much. For example:
I was actually first interested in Canada last December. I sent him a quick one-liner email, got the same back. I responded, trying to be flirty, but not with any real questions of any kind (and my e-mail flirtation ability is questionable).
He never wrote back.
I figured, naturally right, that he wasn’t interested. Then, I saw him later in the winter, and he acted absolutely interested (and I was a lil like wtf). Hence – one thing led to another, I ended up e-mailing my phone number, got a text within an hour. We had plans by the end of the week.
Now, here’s the thing. I always say actions over words. Always. Anyone can tell you what you want to hear, and how many times have we seen the person who says all the right things suddenly disappear? As such, I have always believed talk can be real fuckin’ cheap, and the thing we should actually pay attention to is what people do.
As for Canada? He may not be that great on the words part when not in the same room as I am, but in everything else? He just shows up. While we’ve only had the one phone conversation, he’s always gets in touch when he says he’s going to about making plans, and he doesn’t make me wait for a response when I ask him what’s going on. In addition, we’ve had some pretty damn serious conversations face-to-face (he knows about my current depression-stuff and about my sister). I’ve been very blunt and honest with him – and he’s handled every convo like a flippin’ adult. He’s been just as honest and straightforward.
So. Actions, right?
But… I totally feel the how many texts in three weeks?? thing. Really, I do. See, when I’m with him, I don’t worry. I know not to worry. But, when it’s been a bit… sometimes I get all kinds of doomsday-y about the lack of communication. Why else do you think I even wrote that post? And over the past couple weeks? Hells yeah I started to wonder. I worried. I just wanted him to goddamn text me just the one goddamn time.
Legit, kids. All of you who went errrrr… yikes on the inside about Canada’s lack of words – by now? Right there with ya.
And, actually, it’d been two texts, again all in response to me, up until last night. When I got the one text that made it real damn clear that yep, all my worry had been for no good fucking reason.
I mean, I know Canada just isn’t a texter. I know, when I am with him, that he is letting actions speak louder than words. That how he treats me and takes on my shit, that he is just going to show the fuck up should mean way, way more than the fact that he just doesn’t like e-mail.
And yet. I still have this issue! I still want for the text to come in – even though all along, all I’ve ever said is actions speak louder. Canada appears to be the epitome of that – so what the fuck is my fucking problem?
What do you think, dear readers? Do actions trump words, or do we actually need that text coming through?