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I Have No Free Time, or Backyards and Between Friends: An Update

March 14, 2012

First, and update on my last post:


I did speak with my grad student senate president. There were not, actually, conversations about the women’s commission post, he just had two e-mails from other exec board members. Moreover, it wasn’t exactly about the fact I posted on the Women’s Commission FB. It was a lil different (which was both better and… worse? Will discuss below) Whew. I do feel better about that, and I do feel a little better about my friends.


That said. I still have some concerns (although at not nearly the level last week).


  1. What’s wrong with vaginas? Apparently, the other exec members were concerned because the thumbnail attached to the FB post re: the women’s commiss page was of four women in vagina costumes (actually forgot about that when I posted it – or didn’t notice). SO, the other execs were worried about that being the first thing people saw on our FB page. Because, vah-gi-nas! vah-gi-nas! ack!

    And, pray tell, what kind of costumes? Atomically correct? Pornigraphically explicit? Nope. Big puffy pink satiny vagina cotumes! Wheeee! …or no? Not funny? OK. So at first I’m all well if you think puffy vaginas are offensive, I think you’re offensive! but then I thought about if it were puffy pink penis costumes… nope! still think you’re offensive! … buuuut I suppose the point remains: We are not, as a society, all that comfy with the private bits. Lame as that is

  2. Where is the line? Still wondering this. Should we really be all that worried about the people who can’t handle ladybits? Especially bright pink buffy satiny ones?? Moreover… IS that all they were worried about? I mean, I still think there was some umcomfyness from my male counterparts on publicly engaging the Women’s Commiss thang, and some unconscious desire to avoid conflict [over something that shouldn't be political] to err on the side of “caution” – when, excuse me, but that uncomfy be my body and my rights. Thanks for the support guys!


    More generally, I have some worry that this speaks to what is happening on a national level: men and women avoiding the conflict. Because they don’t want to, what, get dirty? Political? Join the fray? When, AHEM! WE COULD USE YOUR HELP, OR AT LEAST YOUR VOICE HERE. Apathy! Augh! 


  3. Why you be hatin’ on the menz?? The initial response from my president was, well, surprising… and also not. Basically, I said that, on a personal level I was questioning how much support women had on this campus. I said I felt that there was a disconnect between men and women (and women and women, let’s be honest) when it comes to women’s rights – one I knew about (thanks for that lesson, Good Men Project/blogging world!), but didn’t expect to be so close to me. That it was unsettling and upsetting to have it so close (backyards, people!). He responded with a pretty classic response (one I wouldn’t have expected from him, however): “why do you think all men hate women??” Word for word it was:

    Obviously, something was misconstrued in the email.  Here is what I wrote: “several of the other execs have expressed concern about what we may have posted in the past given that we did not have a policy.”   It should be interpreted as follows: “None of the other execs really follow all the things we have posted and were wondering if we may have posted anything that we maybe should talk about as we develop a social media policy.”  If it came across as this: “Everyone is against the women’s commission and hates women in general.” that is wrong.


    I never said I felt everyone hated women. Or anything even close. Yet this reaction, that if you are a woman complaining about the way things are, you must be saying men hate women, is … so… classic (side-eye to Tom Matlack and the “piling on” bitlast year). I would like to understand this response. I hazard part of it is how we women choose to express ourselves. Clearly, we need to find better language that is more clear. However, also clearly, men jump to conclusions. Why? Why do they do that? I mean, I have my own thoughts on this, but curious for yours!

Anyway. Just a quick update. Because that’s about all I’ve got time/energy for at present. BUT ALSO. I have two guest posts out!


Check out new one at Met Another Frog on sexual fluidity: The Importance of Space Outside the Box.


Also over at the Good Men Project on why all this women’s health and contraception stuff is about men, too: Women Only? Not even close!

The comments alone on that one… yikes. Why would I expect less? But.. they do make me want to write a whole post in response. Which I probs will. And, really, I wanna write about this new dude in my world, or about how I love penises or about yoga! Ah, well.

Happy reading ~ and please leave your thoughts!


XX

Nikki

One Comment leave one →
  1. March 14, 2012 1:42 pm

    Glad to hear that things feel a bit better. Funny though how women are perceived to either be men haters or that we all think all men hate women…. what’s with all the hating? If there can’t be a debate of things that are wrong then how will things ever change for the better for all. Ah well…

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