Insomnia Club Strikes Again: Get Your Own Box.
Ladies and gents! It’s time again for the Insomnia Club! We’re trying something a little different these days: Instead of a specific topic, each month one blogger will choose an image to inspire the rest of the group. This month, the awesome Man Shopper is our visual muse! I’ve saved her pic (best for last!) til the end of my post… Read on…
Why all you ladies be single?? I mean, yer gettin’ on… 31 is right around the month-corner. Shouldn’t you be figurin’ that shit out? Or, hey, start adopting the cats now.
You know, in my bloggity-blog world, there’s a lot of discussion around dating and relationships. Which is fine. There’s also been, as of late, quite a number of great posts regarding why being single is kinda awesome, too. Which, of course, I think is great. Chiggity-check this one from The Naken Redhead for starters.
However. There also exists plenty of discussion about why people are single and how not to be single any more. A whole genre of books on this topic (read: someone is making money here…). Now. The more I read about this side of things, the more my irritations develop into a legit shitstorm of rant. Really, I’m just trying to find the time to put my tirades into coherent sentences that might be comprehendable to someone other than Simone.
Regardless. This post isn’t about that diatribe. Actually, it’s about one reason I am still solidly single.
To begin, I know enough people who are in a relationship to be In A Relationship. I have also met enough people who gave two shits about the person I am, beyond the fact that I was an attractive warm body. That I had a pulse, and maybe I wanted to be In A Relationship as much as they did.
The Relationship is paramount to these people. Period. Their glass is always going to be at best half empty (and at worse dry-boned empty) unless they have a Significant Other. Who that person actually is? Less important, as long as they keep showing up. C’mon… we all know the type.
Less obvious? Well. You know, we all feel sad sometimes. We all feel inadequate. Lonely. We are all frustrated and unhappy with all kinds of things in our lives. Just life.
However. In my experience, there also exists those people who wrap allllll that shit up into I Would Be Happier If I Had A Relationship.
They think finding The One will cure them of all their ills, their frustrations, their sad-panda (why can I not stop saying sad pandas?) times. The most significant and tragic example of this phenomena? Would be my sister. Who thought maybe if she had a boyfriend, all her issues would magically disappear.
And I’ve had people look at me, la-la-la, in my happy lil world… and, apparently, think I might want to help them with their shit.
I’m sorry. I do not want a project. I do not want someone I have to fix. Apologies – but I don’t buy into that Hollywood crap.
You know – the pop culture bullshit that a) you are not a whole person until you find The One (*ahem*… this lamesauce) and b) a person you have to fix, who has to change to be with you, is not only perfectly acceptable, but will always beget the highest romantic pay-off.
Basically, none of us can possibly be whole, happy people of our own account. We’re somehow conditioned to believe other people will make us suddenly happy, complete, fulfilled, drunk with joy. In addition, we also should be just effing fine with someone who’s at best sad pandas (there it is again) and a worse a flippin’ mess. For some unfathomable reason we have this ridiculous softspot for people who need to be taken care of (duuuude… both men and women have that problem – I call it the Wounded Dove Syndrome). Because we can make them alllllll better and they will change for us.
Excuse me. I, for one, don’t understand any of that shiz-nit.
Look. Just because I have a Happy, doesn’t mean it will solve your shit. Just because your glass seems all empty, won’t mean I can or even want to fill it up for you. Further, being all emo doesn’t actually make me want to help you out.
Last I checked, admittance into my world meant you had to bring some awesome to add, not use up my happy wine to fix ya’self.
I don’t want a project. I don’t rely on anyone else to complete me. Here’s a fucking newsflash, people: Relationships should add to your life. Add to your happiness and your joy, not be necessary for it’s creation. We should want to be with people who are whole and awesome and happy in their own right, not because we exist. I’m sorry, I’m just not into that kind of narcissism, nor do I need the needy that comes along with it.
Bitch, get your own box of wine. I am not that girl. I prefer my special friends to BYOB. Otherwise, you’re just here to kill my buzz.
See how this image inspired the other Insomniacs!
Condoms: Who Likes ‘Em Anyway? ~ Skye Blue of Met Another Frog
Ms. Man-Shopper In Boozetown ~ Manshopping in
<brWe also had an additional topic this month…
Banana Pancakes & Pretend It’s The Weekend ~ Charlotte at My Pixie Blog
PS Yes I realize the title of this post is funny. Duh.