Have one guy… Gay-ed for life.
Hey-O. It’s Wednesday. And I post on Wednesdays now. Remember?
Of course, I liked it. Threesomes. Yum.
But. There was a bit of a twist to this one…
It started with Shawn and the other dude… sucking each other off.
Oh, woah! Hey dude! Look at all that gayness! What, you invite the chick as an excuse? Your wifey know you like the dick?
Why is it that women can experiment whenever they feel like it? Why is it that we even have a term [LUGs – Lesbians Until Graduation] for those chicks who lick pussy all through college and then go moseying on back to dudes?
Why is it that girls can make out with each other and aren’t told “oh, y’all are big fat dykes“?
In fact, as another post on MAF makes clear, you can freely discuss your lesbo fantasies, while explicitly stating how straight you are, and no one questions you. You can even, in my opinion, be kinda flippant about another woman’s feelings and lesbian relationships in general – and instead of addressing that, simply say “Well, this is from a straight woman’s perspective“. And you’re cool.
And yet. With guys? Ohhhhh no. No makin’ out here. You suck one cock, son, you are G-A-Y.
Not only that, you are SO gay, I won’t date you.
OK, I am not even going to get into the fact that girls can use same-sex lovin’ to increase their sexual capital with the opposite sex, yet boys can lose ALL sexual capital with some girls. That’s another
rant post I can’t possibly put into coherent sentences at the present time (…anyone else having a week?)
The point I want to make regarding Shawn’s post at MAF is this:
We all have license to experiment.
It does not make us gay or even bisexual. It does not mean we are closeted, or we are suddenly unacceptable as dating material (the idea that bis are un-datable is also another
For one, as long as we are practicing safe, enthusiastic sex (ooo I like that!), we should be free to express our sexuality in whatever way we feel compelled – as long as we find partners who are equally compelled. We should not be subject to other people’s judgement or definitions. Period. Your sex is your sex – it’s not anyone else’s. I mean, are they having it?
For two, there may be that one person or type of person of the same sex (or opposite sex if you’re gay) that just… gets under your skin. That one person that clicks in your brain. And you want to bang the crap out of them. Does it make you gay or bi? Maybe not. Maybe it just makes you straight-except-for-that-dude.
See, I believe sexuality exists as a spectrum – not in hard (ha ha I said “hard”) and fast definitions. We fly a virtual rainbow flag of things that turn us on and get us off. As such, you can absolutely be straight-except-for-that-dude or straight-except-for-eating-box or even gay-except-for-that-one-dyke. I think, for human beings, sex exists as part of our inherent nature, as a way to build relationships and social networks. It’s not just as part of procreation for us, and, if behavioral science and evolutionary theory have anything to say about it, it hasn’t been for, well, ever. Since human beings became human beings.
Sex as something beyond babies, as expression and significant to social fabric is, shall we say, in our blood. It literally is part of who we are – whether we want to acknowledge that or not.
It is only Society, and Other People, who start to tell us the sex we’re having is wrong. It is only Culture, and the idea that Women are shameful and secondary, and Men are powerful and primary, that dictates who gets to experiment with their sex, and who has to keep it straight-and-narrow if they want to still be accepted. E.g. a man sucking cock or takin’ it up the rear is starting to act like, *gasp*, a woman – and thus, how can you possibly respect him any more? (… for the record, in my POV, the ideas I’m only barely touching on are one and the same as those that make sexually aggressive and independent women intimidating – it’s about men taking “female” roles, and women taking “male” roles.)
Straight dudes get the shit end of the stick (ha ha) in this, if you ask me. If a gay dude slips and falls into a vagina, does anyone tell him he’s not gay? Hell to the F no. If a straight chick sucks her friend’s titties, does anyone tell her she’s now gay-ed for life? Any dudes getting squeamish and saying they can’t pooooosibly date her now? Um…. nope. Experiment away, kids!
But straight dudes? Oh, man. You gotta watch that shit. Don’t want anyone thinkin’ you’re GAY now, do you?
To check your own reactions to this phenomenon, I highly suggest reading a couple posts at Met Another Frog:
- Read this and/or this.
- And then read Shawn’s post.
- Then check your gut: Did you think the woman were gay? How about Shawn? ….mmmmmhmmmmm….
I also HIGHLY recommend listening to this recent podcast from Met Another Frog: More Than Pillow Talk 3: Are Bisexual Men Less Masculine? It’s awesome. But, be advised, I wouldn’t listen to it over headphones in a crowded area. Or at work. People might think you’re weird for random outburst of laughter.
Or, just check out what Dan Savage has to say… oh I do love me some Dan Savage.