Disclaimer as of 6 March 2012: I realize some of you may be arriving here from pegym.com. I wanted to leave a comment there, but I don’t typically create new profiles, however free, on sites I don’t plan on using regularly. I want to make the point that I’m speaking for my own personal preferences. I’m not going to make apologies for them – and I don’t think anyone else should for theirs either. We all have physical preferences in appearance, such as being an ass-man, or a boob-man, or a leg-man – mine just happen to be below the belt sometimes. We are also all different in how important those physical attributes are – and that probably depends on the person we’re with and the time in our lives.
The problem, of course, is using personal preferences to create normative standards about beauty and attractiveness. About manhood. I agree with the other blogger than penis size is attributable to manhood in this Society – and I don’t agree with that. I never said, and will never say, a man is less of a man depending on what he’s packing. I am merely stating my personal preferences… which I think are ok. I am not ok with the societal standards for men or women, or the gender binary in general really.
Personally, I wish, instead, we ALL were able to express what we physically like about people, and to see how very different those likes and dislikes are. And to celebrate that diversity, not try to fit it into cookie-cutter boxes of what is necessary to be attractive. As if we all aspire to one set of preferences at all times – which, depsite Society’s assumption – I don’t think we do.
I should probably write an entire follow-up post.
[end of disclaimer]
Warning: The following will probably offend some people. I apologize in advance. We should never make fun of other people for things they can’t help. Especially these kind of things.
But. If you’re going to chide me for making fun, you’d be missing the, uh, point.
From: Said friend
So, Mr. F.H. stayed over last night… His boner was poking me this morning and…
…it was like a little button. Not a giant sausage. (To use all the cliches in the world.)
Sadness… usually morning boner pokage makes me really turned on and this morning I was – well – not.
He was very nicely rubbing my back so part of my brain even (already?!) went to “hmmm well there ARE strap-ons.” But, I feel like that would be horribly offensive to a dude? But, I mean if he uses those lips the way he should in *other* areas…then maybe it’ll be okay….. But then I thought about trying to give a blowjob to a tiny little tube, and, I guess it could still be fun….
[NIKKI] I WOULD BE SO OBSESSED WITH THIS GUY RIGHT NOW IF HE HAD A BIG PENIS. Why does this make me feel so conflicted. I feel like a bad person b/c I feel conflicted…. Does this make me a bad person?
A friend: A small penis
if that’s a turn off to you
it’s a turn off
and a pretty centrally located one as well
Me: for serious
A friend: but I’m wondering is it like other physical traits
like, for example, that guy that has the weird teeth who then becomes your bestie
& you begin to find him attractive
even though before you were like ew. no.
But you can’t get past small penis
funny teeth can become endearing, but they don’t fuck you
A friend: and hopefully aren’t getting caught on your labia
A friend: nice image, yeh?
Me: ha! yikes!
A friend: Mr. FH is smart, funny, respectful, nice, adventurous, independent
he says the cutest things to me, like this morning he goes “you’re pretty. I like it.”
there is NO REASON I should be TALKING MYSELF into him
Me: … but then ….
A friend: seriously it felt like a button
in my half-grogged sleepytimes that is what I was thinking about
“omg! he has a button penis”
that shouldn’t be funny
A friend: it IS funny
I wanna cry a little
why is the world doing this to me???
Me: HA HA HA yes the world is doing this to you, Ms. Existentialism.
A friend: I meet a man who reads the new yorker for fun
wears flannel plaid shirts even in the summer
has a beard and black rimmed glasses
is into science in the media literacy
and is cool and can hang and likes to drink
AND HE HAS A SMALL PENIS????
Me: HA HA HA plaid
OK OK. We shouldn’t be making fun of small peni. I know it’s something that can’t be helped. And that’s really not the point. Sometimes we make things funny when they shouldn’t be, because if we didn’t we’d just be bummed out.
Regardless. The point is. As soon as my friend told me this, I understood. We like a good-sized dick.
Look. I know some people can be better at other things. I mean, he has ten fingers and a mouth.
But. We like a good-sized dick.
And, yeah. I hear you. Doesn’t that make me some kind of hypocrite? Seeing as how girls don’t have the peni, and I enjoy fucking girls. Sans peni. To that I say: I like to fuck girls who have vaginas, and boys who… have big penises.
For my friend and me, it’s not just about the what they may or may not be able to do with it, or their hands, or their mouth, or their fist, or a dildo. There is something about a dick that turns us on (even though they are still weird-looking and NO we don’t need you to send us pictures, thanks – real life only please). We like the big ol’ morning-boner-in-the-back, damnit. It’s not just about fucking it – it’s about sucking it and touching it and feeling it… And lacking it? Might just be a deal-breaker.
So. The question is. Does size matter? And, if not having the size we need cancels out the smart and funny and nerdy and new yorker for fun and flannel and beard and black rimmed glasses, does that make us shallow?
Or is it just a physical trait that’s on our list, like height or hair color, that other people don’t worry about so much?
Well. Samantha gets it.