“There’s a log on the fire Save tonight
and it burns like me for you
Tomorrow comes with one desire
to take me away ….
and fight the break of dawn
tomorrow I’ll be gone…”
“There’s a log on the fire
Were cheesier song lyrics ever written?
Of course… easy for me to say now. Bet your ass there was a time when I thought these were, um, romantical n’ stuff. *teenage sighhhh*.
Hey. I was a fifteen year old chick once, too, ya know.
During that sighing, did I ever stop to wonder what such oh! our last night alone together bullcrap would be like in real life? Ummm… not really. Well. I got to experience it last week. Er, albeit second hand.
A friend of mine moved away over the weekend. On Thursday evening, a few of us were at her place, helping with last minute things and having dinner. I already miss her, but that’s not what this is about…
She tells us she had a very surprising breakfast that morning with a male friend she’s known for several years. At some point, this man basically professes his love to my friend. That he has always had a crush on her, but he never acted on it. He’s telling her now. You know, when she leaves in, oh, twenty-four hours, give or take…
Naturally, such statements changed the, uh, tone of their conversation. They started saying things like “I have two hours til I have to work…” “Oh, but two hours isn’t nearly enough time” and “if I moved to _____ to be with you, you wouldn’t be allowed to work for six months. We would need all that time to make love.”
I know right – people actually say those things? Why yes. Yes they do. Apparently.
Regardless of conversation, my friend couldn’t bound off for two hours, and they part ways with a kiss and a promise to talk that evening.
She is dropping this bomb on us… that evening.
“Ahem. Excuse us, we love you and all, but what the fuck are you doing still here??” We’re her friends. We love being with her, but we also understand priorities.
She calls him. They talk. We wait upstairs with baited breath…
She comes back to tell us no, she won’t be going over there. That he said something like “I will wait for you to come back in December. I don’t know if I can do this now.”
WTF is right. Which is what we said in response.
She himmed. She hawed. We told her if she didn’t get back on that phone and tell him she was coming over, we were going to call him for her.
She finally did. And she went.
Couple things about this.
One. It’s amazing to me how fragile our confidence is, and how quickly it shatters. These two
idiots lovebirds went from planning a six-month sex-fest to him saying “oh… I don’t know” causing her to say “I don’t think he really wants to any more… I don’t want to push it…” (and causing me to want to punch them both in the face).
Duh. She turned him down first (when she couldn’t bound on over for two hours the day before she was moving). Then he had some time to think about it, and get all
crazy– nervous-like and wishy-washy. And then she didn’t want to push him because oh no good girls don’t ask for things – the man does that so he must not really be into it or some bullcrap.
So, yeah. It’s ah-mazing to me how sometimes? We’re idiots. We are really freakin’ good at scaring the crap out of ourselves. For no real reason.
Of course, one way to ensure maximum anxiety and pressure?
Fucking wait years until the very last possible mother-fucking second to do something about how you feel.
I get how all this sounds all romantic n’ shit, but in reality? It’s just annoying. And puts all this pressure on things and makes people, including yourself (as in you, that dude who waited til the last possible second) freak out all over again.
Of course, this leads back to the bigger point of Two: Grow. A. Fucking. Pair. Already.
I mean, I realize that telling someone how you really feel is fucking scary. I also realize there are boundaries here (for instance. If the person you pine for is married? Maybe not on that one.)
But still. If you are into someone, just freakin’ tell them. Or move the fuck on.
In addition, don’t allow someone else’s nerves to shatter your own.
But I would avoid telling the chick who already has a hubby, a la “Love Actually“. Because that’s also something that looks like a great idea in the movies, but in real life? Also annoying. Just don’t.
Hmmm… did I just out myself as a terrible cynic? I think I’m just being realistic here but… What do you think? And do you have any stories of last-minute or otherwise less-than-appropriate professions of love?
How about times when you wish you had done more professing, and less pining?
PS Bet you will have this song in your head for the rest of the day… and… wtf is this video anyway?