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Save tonight.

July 27, 2011

“There’s a log on the fire
and it burns like me for you
Tomorrow comes with one desire
to take me away ….

Save tonight
and fight the break of dawn
Come tomorrow
tomorrow I’ll be gone…”

Were cheesier song lyrics ever written?

Of course… easy for me to say now. Bet your ass there was a time when I thought these were, um, romantical n’ stuff. *teenage sighhhh*.

Hey. I was a fifteen year old chick once, too, ya know.

During that sighing, did I ever stop to wonder what such oh! our last night alone together bullcrap would be like in real life? Ummm… not really. Well. I got to experience it last week. Er, albeit second hand.

A friend of mine moved away over the weekend. On Thursday evening, a few of us were at her place, helping with last minute things and having dinner. I already miss her, but that’s not what this is about…

She tells us she had a very surprising breakfast that morning with a male friend she’s known for several years. At some point, this man basically professes his love to my friend. That he has always had a crush on her, but he never acted on it. He’s telling her now. You know, when she leaves in, oh, twenty-four hours, give or take…

Naturally, such statements changed the, uh, tone of their conversation. They started saying things like “I have two hours til I have to work…” “Oh, but two hours isn’t nearly enough time” and “if I moved to _____ to be with you, you wouldn’t be allowed to work for six months. We would need all that time to make love.”

I know right – people actually say those things? Why yes. Yes they do. Apparently.

Regardless of conversation, my friend couldn’t bound off for two hours, and they part ways with a kiss and a promise to talk that evening.

She is dropping this bomb on us… that evening.

Ahem. Excuse us, we love you and all, but what the fuck are you doing still here??”  We’re her friends. We love being with her, but we also understand priorities.

She calls him. They talk. We wait upstairs with baited breath…

She comes back to tell us no, she won’t be going over there. That he said something like “I will wait for you to come back in December. I don’t know if I can do this now.

WTF is right. Which is what we said in response.

She himmed. She hawed. We told her if she didn’t get back on that phone and tell him she was coming over, we were going to call him for her.

She finally did. And she went.

Couple things about this.

One. It’s amazing to me how fragile our confidence is, and how quickly it shatters. These two idiots lovebirds went from planning a six-month sex-fest to him saying “oh… I don’t know” causing her to say “I don’t think he really wants to any more… I don’t want to push it…” (and causing me to want to punch them both in the face).

Duh. She turned him down first (when she couldn’t bound on over for two hours the day before she was moving). Then he had some time to think about it, and get all crazy nervous-like and wishy-washy. And then she didn’t want to push him because oh no good girls don’t ask for things – the man does that so he must not really be into it or some bullcrap.

So, yeah. It’s ah-mazing to me how sometimes? We’re idiots. We are really freakin’ good at scaring the crap out of ourselves. For no real reason.

Of course, one way to ensure maximum anxiety and pressure?

Fucking wait years until the very last possible mother-fucking second to do something about how you feel.

I get how all this sounds all romantic n’ shit, but in reality? It’s just annoying. And puts all this pressure on things and makes people, including yourself (as in you, that dude who waited til the last possible second) freak out all over again.

Of course, this leads back to the bigger point of Two: Grow. A. Fucking. Pair. Already.

I mean, I realize that telling someone how you really feel is fucking scary. I also realize there are boundaries here (for instance. If the person you pine for is married? Maybe not on that one.)

But still. If you are into someone, just freakin’ tell them. Or move the fuck on.

In addition, don’t allow someone else’s nerves to shatter your own.

But I would avoid telling the chick who already has a hubby, a la “Love Actually“. Because that’s also something that looks like a great  idea in the movies, but in real life? Also annoying. Just don’t.

Hmmm… did I just out myself as a terrible cynic? I think I’m just being realistic here but… What do you think? And do you have any stories of last-minute or otherwise less-than-appropriate professions of love?

How about times when you wish you had done more professing, and less pining?

PS Bet you will have this song in your head for the rest of the day… and… wtf is this video anyway?

9 Comments leave one →
  1. July 27, 2011 10:36 am

    Damn… now I do have this song in my head. It was one of my best friends favorite song years ago. Ugh… can’

    On a serious note, I think that people who profess their “love” or adoration at the very last second do it because it is safer in a way. I mean, if it would back-fire then at least the person whom they nervously profess their love to will be gone shortly, so they will not feel totally embarrassed to death each time they see them. Know what I mean?

    That does not mean that it is the smart thing to do. It is actually, in my opinion, pretty damn stupid. But it does have to do with confidence and I can understand why people do it. Confidence can be a pretty brittle thing.

    Yes I have once fancied someone that was taken, years ago, but I copped on and did not profess anything cos in the end of the day – that would just be stupid and a mess. If he had not been taken.. well then I would have said something. We only live once after all.

    • July 27, 2011 5:11 pm

      You are so right! I hadn’t thought of that, but yeah – people wait because it *is* safer. Whether they realize they’re waiting, who knows, but they can say it, and then not have to see them again if it doesn’t go over well… huh.

      But yeah. End of the day? What do you really want?

      I’ve definitely pined over someone taken (ahem – anyone remember Kayak? Yep. He’s still around… kinda). Of course, he knew how I felt. And it didn’t get either of us anywhere. Because he was taken.

      Yes – we only live once. After high school, I never told this guy I had a crush on him, but we hung out *every day*. I regretted never finding out how he felt for so long… thus:

      “It is better to regret the things you’ve done, rather than those you did not do.”

  2. July 27, 2011 11:13 am

    Too funny did your circle of friends just graduate grade school our something? I’m surprised that Mr. Wishy Washy didn’t have a friend drop a note in her locker after home room.

    At the very least he should have kept his obsession to him self. He had his chances I imagine, and not gone all psycho stalker on her last minute.

    But then again I could be wrong.

    • July 27, 2011 5:12 pm


      I think he was just afraid. I still don’t think that lets him off the hook for being all dramatic at the last second. Regardless, it DID feel like middle school there for a bit – with her on the phone, and then us talking her into not being such a baby! 😀

      • July 27, 2011 6:19 pm

        Thanks for correcting my damn auto spell nightmare Nikki. GRRRR

  3. July 27, 2011 1:50 pm

    Okay, seriously, just reading the header of this blog post put this song into my head!!! LOL. He definitely should have spoken up sooner. Yeah, it sounds romantic, but to your point, it isn’t feasible and it puts this unnecessary pressure on the other person to react or to act on something that they normally would have time to really think through and process.

    • July 27, 2011 5:13 pm

      Exactly. It *seems* all romantical, but in reality? What a pain! And look at all that wasted time! Augh!

      PS And that song…. over and over again for days…

  4. August 2, 2011 7:01 pm

    1. my love for 90s music knows no bounds. it is still my favorite. brings back the memories. Tub Thumping anyone?

    2. my love for love actually also knows no bounds.

    3. you know i’m all about the realism. please, continue.


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