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Please – just man the fuck up.

July 30, 2010

Soo… Update on Amy and Ski Jump.

Basically? There have been text messages – even dirty ones. There have been promises of phone calls and sex hanging out again. And yet… no follow through.



Finally, Amy sent him a text saying “hey, this girl would like to see you again soon – and fuck you. A lot.”

….chirp…. chirp…. chirp… (…um…. those are crickets, in case you hadn’t figured that out.)

*Ahem*… what?

Yes – he’s said he’s really busy (multiple times) and that the timing is bad (ok) and that he apparently has some brain problem (I’ll tell you what your brain problem is) where he gets reallyreallyreally focused on something and can’t focus on something else. Or something (…huh? does this excuse I mean condition have a name?)

But. Here’s the thing. We’re not idiots. If I met a guy I was into, and especially if we were having great sex, I would make time for him. Period. Or, if I really was that busy and it really was virtually impossible, I would set a date. I would look forward, into the future (…ooooo…), and say “well, gee, I reallyreallyreallly can’t do anything right now – even talk – can we look to next week?”


But neither of these things are happening so…

For whatever stupid-ass reason, Ski Jump is being stupid now and is not-that-into having sex hanging out. Why not, and why this alone if fucking ridiculous, I will have to expand upon later. But, I will say one thing now: Why all the touchy-feely bullshit then you ass? (OK sidenote: he did a lot of touchy-feely bullshit – lots of post coital stroking, gazing longingly at her in bed… and the shower…) Not that it meant anything to Amy, aside from weird her out a little, but… last I checked? That’s loads more evidence of wow-I-am-so-into-you than just calling back.


Gawd people are so fucking insincere. Just go with the moment, you bastard, fuck what it actually might mean to someone else (and thank god it was only Amy, who interpreted it as wow-I-am-so-into-you, instead of wow-you’re-totally-THE-ONE!).

The thing that is most annoying about this? Why the texting? Why keep up the contact? Why keep talking about big cocks and wet pussys (there I said it, Amy, my apologies – although I am left wondering if its “ies” or “ys”…confession: I am terrible at spelling)? Why keep making excuses?


Why not just fucking ignore it? What happened to the dude that… just… disappears? So you’re over this (for whatever stupid-ass reason) – fine. Really. Get the fuck out my world, please. You are now wasting my time (yes – I am now acting as if this is happening to me. We’re life partners, so it kinda is).


Why the fucking half-ass drag-this-shit-out bullshit? The texts are stupid; Amy is busy and doesn’t have time for THAT bullshit. She wants to make plans, and be done til then. That’s it. Yes or no? You in or you out? We’re willing to allow you your excuses (because we’re suckers for big cocks… HA HA HA… ok….)… but why the fuck keep making them?

Goddamn – you are a 30-year-old grown ass man. One way or another, man the fuck up.

PS The one thing Ski Jump does put into perspective is my last one-night-stander, that I didn’t expect to be a one-night-stander (I expected it to be a let’s-fuck-the-shit-out-of-each-other-for-two-months-til-you-leave-hey-awesome…r). At least that dude? While clearly a little wacky himself, and with ex baggage to boot (thanks for that), at least owned enough of a pair to call me and make an attempt at being a man and being honest (or whatever). Even if his honesty made no sense (saying that what basically equates to fuck buddies “too serious”? calling two weeks later?), at least the mother fucker tried.

Hats off, Ball Shaving Boy. Even if you were a fucking weirdo, too. Never (ever) thought I would say this… but you win this one.

PPS Dear Amy’s married friend, who said SJ was just being lazy: you lose.

7 Comments leave one →
  1. August 1, 2010 4:08 am

    She needs to 86 his ass.

  2. Gilbert Lowell permalink
    August 2, 2010 2:58 pm

    Wait, lazy? I drew comparisons to my own problematic not-answering-emails-until-days-later-when-I’m-busy issues, but I meant that as more of a preoccupied state, not a too-lazy-to-respond state. Either way, though, yes: I lose. This guy is just … weird. Who turns down a free Porsche, repeatedly, until someone says, “FINE. I will drive it over and park it on your lawn and chauffeur you wherever you need to go. THEN will you take it?” Seriously – what a weirdo.

  3. August 2, 2010 6:34 pm

    Um. Sorry GL – you were not the married friend I was referring to. I would use your name if I were. But thanks for clarifying that none of us get this guy. Not that he’s the only one. Srsly.

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