Is he bailing? Someone please explain this to me.
So. Since the date, she went on vaca for five days, and there was a text goodbye. She’s been back since Tuesday now. She called him when she got back, he didn’t pick up. She sent him a text saying she doesn’t leave messages, get in touch.
Basically, since then, he will text her at night. At 11:30 or so. She’s asleep (girl has a serious job, needs her beauty rest). She texts back in the morning. Hears nothing all day. Repeat.
Texts have been cute-sy/sexy… kind of. But not as they were, really, pre-date/sex. And he was getting back to her immediately before.
Additional important information: he’s in the process of closing on a house right now.
Yeah… so what? Basically – Amy writes the dude off every night, only to have a text from him in the AM. She’s annoyed. Shit or get off the pot, asshole.
So. Traditional theory tells us, if he changes his tune, he’s not all that into you any more. Done.
But. Amy’s friend, a dude who is married, told her Ski Jump is just being a lazy fuck. She has to ask to hang out with him, it’s not that he’s not into her (case in point: this friend did not call back the woman he is currently married to – she had to do it). He says he can’t explain it, he just knows. Give the dude a break and ask to see him again.
Are you effing serious right now? Seriously? This is how this works? Because that goes against a whole lot of things we’re told as little girls. And bigger girls, too.
She’s going to take her friend’s advice and give Ski Jump one last chance – and directly ask. See what happens.
Here is what I think will happen: He will be wishy-washy, say he wants to see her, but the whole buying-a-house-moving thing…
And then next week he’ll pull this shit again. And… that will be that.
This. Is so. FUCKING LAME.
What are those things we’re told since we’re little girls? And bigger girls?
- If a guy is into you, he makes it known. If he gets all weird, he’s not any more. Done and done.
- All guys want to have sex. A lot.
Look. If he’s not into her any more? Amy is ok with that. But how about this… stop fucking texting then. We are fully aware that most guys hate being the “bad guy” and tend to disappear instead of be direct or honest, because they don’t want to hurt you (not that we approve of this strategy – we just accept it. We think it is effing ridiculous. Grow a fucking pair. We can handle the truth. And, PS, how is disappearing being “nice”? It’s nicer for you – because you can’t deal with anything).
But that’s not really the whole issue here. Maybe his lame texts are him trying to do just that – be
stupid nice while disappearing. The issue is this: Amy is freakin awesome. She’s gorgeous. She’s funny, smart, sexy, successful, sarcastic (what other s-complimentary-word can I use here) etc etc etc. Don’t rely on my testimony (obviously, being her life partner, I’m biased), ask her multitude of suitors. They ignore confidentiality laws and marriage vows to just talk to her (really, I need to get on writing up Amy’s dating history – ridiculous).
A couple of weeks ago, you could also ask Ski Jump, for crying out loud.
So… what gives? Why is he bailing now?
Here are some of my thoughts:
- It goes back to my previous post: women cannot just jump into bed. Even if they want to. For some reason, this is still a bad thing. For some reason, boys bolt when you do this.
- Amy might be a little jaded and has had some fairly frank conversations with Ski Jump. One, she told him she thought he was a douche bag – to which he replied he’d prove her wrong. Two, she also explained that having sex meant turning on the Sex Switch – and she was going to want to have a lot MORE sex. I don’t think you can have conversations like this with boys (I hope you’ve realized by now that I chose to use the term “boy” versus “man”). I think they get all weird and insecure… for whatever reason.
- Not only did Ski Jump and Amy have a great time and great sex, SJ went a little over the top on the intimacy. Amy says there was a lot of just touching and cuddling and he stared at her in the shower (not in a creepy way, in a nice way… ok…). Too much. She was not exactly ok with all of this – think Samantha (from SATC) telling Perfect Dick she wants no part of his romantic roof-top dinner. I am not ok with all of this – way too soon for that shit, buddy. We both agree that it was too much too soon, and all completely unnecessary. There will be a time for that – once they get to know each other better…
I’m not saying these three things explain anything. I am just saying. This has nothing to do with Amy not being Amazing and Fantastic. This has everything to do with Ski Jump being, yet another, strange little man who did not, in fact, live up to expectations.
PLUS – aren’t boys supposed to be the ones who want sex all the time??
Can someone please please explain this to me?
Amy called Ski Jump last night (late, since that’s the only time he’s apparently near a phone), and he picked up. And they talked for 40 minutes. Amy cannot remember the last time she talked to a boy that long on the phone. I can – it was in high school. Maybe college? He just yacks and yacks about his life. And all his friends that have babies. Does he want babies? Who knows.
He is, however, too busy to see her this weekend. He has a friend coming into town, has to see his parents, yadda yadda yadda… Amy believes him so… He says he wants to see her but timing is off.
Ok buddy. Whatever.
Was Amy’s married man-friend right? Is he just lazy/busy? Is acting like you’re not that interested, when you really are, you’re just lazy, normal? All the texting seems a waste of time… and talking on the phone for forty minutes? About everything?