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expired condoms = good sign…?

May 7, 2010

From: Me
Date: May 5, 2010 10:38 AM EDT
To: Amy F.
Subject: Not Boyfriends.

SO. _____ rolls into the office Tuesday AM about 10:15. She’s been in ____ all weekend with the Not Boyfriend. And I guess seeing her family some too. And her Not Boyfriend’s annoying hipster friends that wear black and skinny jeans and shop at thrift stores and have ironic moo-staches. All while living at home off their wealthy parents.


Anyways. SO I asked her how the weekend went. Awkward smile elicits “ohhhhh really??” response from me.


“Sooo… he finally took you up on those tickets to sexy town, did he?”


Cue nervous/awkward giggle and exaggerated wink. She’s not quite one hundred percent ready to talk about such things with me. When we’re not in a car for two and a half hours, forcing ourselves to have Conversation. Ah. Young and slightly (slightly?) awkward around other women. And groups of people she doesn’t know.

I bet she had more boy friends than girl friends growing up. And now.


She said that she did inquire about him having other partners, and I quote: “If you want to hook up with other girls, I won’t be providing my services.”


You know, the services provided in Sexy Town?


He said he wasn’t going to be. She also felt safer because he didn’t have any condoms – all the ones he did have had expired. She felt that to be a good sign.

Sound familiar?

She said they are just going with it for now and not hooking up with anyone else. She also said she will say something about getting rid of the Not in Not Boyfriend in like a month. I told her don’t stress the label thing. That the important thing is they’re both comfortable with what they have and they both trust each other. Labels sometimes freak people out for no reason (*ahem* to myself) and they don’t really mean shit. She said she knows but she’s sorry, she’s just an organized individual who needs to categorize things. She was kidding. But serious. So she’ll bring it up in time…

Anyways… I am at the office but I feel really tired already. Mother fucker. I think if I had been in a lot of pain, I would be ok with taking it slow. I wasn’t. I’m not (really). I am just tired. Def not 100%. I want to be 100%. I want my effing life back. asklfj349jt34ngklwdnf.


Guess I will go home early then. And probably pass the fuck out on the couch. Sdlkfj;askljtgwernmtklnwert.

Salkd/nfgklasdfgn.

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