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free tickets to sexy town.

April 19, 2010


From: Me.
Sent: Sunday,  April 18, 2010 9:42 PM
To:
Subject: Not Boyfriend.


Hey buddy,


Driving down to ____ with _____ and she’s telling me about her Best Friend Not Boyfriend. She literally calls him her Not Boyfriend. Because he practically IS her boyfriend, but Not. They’ve been friends forever, she’s liked him forever, he recently admitted he likes her too they spend TONS of time together (at least every other weekend – he’s in ____) and talk every single day.


Clearly they are really really close and he says he likes her but… he’s not ready for a relationship right now!!


That doesn’t sound familiar to you. At all. Does it.


WTF with boys getting this weird form of intimacy from girls but that’s it? Having this weird… reallyreallyclose friendship that they clearly really really enjoy… and clearly liking the girl too… but not (strangely) taking advantage of, as______ put it, the “free ticket to sexy town”? (perhaps a statement that indicates this conversation was slightly awkward for her to be having with me, but she had it anyways I think because 1. she wanted to talk to someone about it for fucks sake and 2. two and a half hours in the car.)


How does that make sense? I will use you for intimacy/emotional support but that’s it? And don’t worry, I will find a Mouse eventually and ditch your ass? And even though I say I don’t want to have a relationship because it will fuck up work/our friendship/insert lame excuse here, I am already doing that by the very nature of this fucked-up thing, of how I am emotionally using you with no regards for your feelings? And then I will more than likely ditch your ass at the end and tell you “oh but I told you I didn’t want anything!”?


Wtf. Doucebagery.


Also. I e-mailed ______ to see if he was around because I think he’s near here, but couldn’t remember. And he’s so pretty. Of course he got back to me right away and he’s not THAT far away and maybe we’ll get dinner tomorrow but he’s really busy so doubtful and that is totally fine.

So. My additional question is, if ______, who is a self-proclaimed child, can get back to me, when he knows I would fuck his brains out in about five seconds, and rightfully read nothing into my invitation and takes me at my word as my friend, why can’t the MB not be such a FUCKING CHILD.


Anyways.


P.S. In case pointing this out is necessary, which I highly doubt it is, can I just draw attention to the fact that, sometimes when pissed off (or something) I put periods where they don’t belong but …. in other instances, I can instead put extra words where they aren’t needed and forget how to use periods. Completely.


Who taught me to speak pretty.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Ineeda Codename permalink
    April 19, 2010 10:13 am

    The ticket wasn’t free, but someone I know just rose from the ashes in Sexy Town. Maybe she could help you out with the whole guys-not-having-sex-with-you thing. You could rub some of your clothes on her to capture whatever pheromones she’s releasing.

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