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big love.

April 16, 2010

I don’t believe in love at first sight. I don’t believe in soulmates.

I do believe that you sure as fuck better wait til the honeymoon phase is over until you make ANY big decisions. No houses/dogs/cars/moving in together. And NO getting married together.

Although I can’t speak from experience (I don’t really do the relationship thing all that well… or haven’t in the past), I’ve been told you will know when the honeymoon is over. And it is much longer than a year.

I believe that relationships build slowly over time. If it feels to good to be true, it probably is. Something intense is not sustainable.  A sudden beginning can end just as fast.

In all relationships, romantic and friendships, if you feel like you’ve known someone you’re whole life and in reality it’s only been two months… get ready for the other shoe. It’s fall is headed straight for you. These things I do know from experience.

All that being said.

Two of the only people that can make me feel like a child on a regular basis are my yoga teachers. For absolutely no good reason, and contrary to yoga teachings, I crave their approval. That desire makes me feel like a child.

One is divorcing her husband of fifteen years. For good reason and they are both very civil, as good yogis are, about the whole thing.

But… she has met a man. She says one of the reasons she wants a divorce is because this new guy makes her feel like her husband doesn’t. She wants a “big love“.

Any one else notice how the new things, that appear at the end of old things, are often intense? Make you feel something so very different?

And how can you compare something fifteen years old to something new?

Sometimes… things happen that make you realize… the pedestals you create for people… shouldn’t be all that tall. And they don’t ensure the person on them is without blinders and or the ability to make the same mistakes.


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