when boys are mean.
An Update on the MB: After her last attempt to actually have an adult conversation about all of this, or maybe just have a normal date, resulted in the MB flipping out again, Amy has decided that this bullshit has got to stop. SO she’s attempting to treat the MB as if they are just work colleagues and nothing else. No more lunches together, no constant contact all day, no more flirty-flirty bullshit.
So. True to form, the MB decides to respond to this by attempting desperately to get her attention again. And, when that fails of course, by being an ass.
From: Amy F.
Sent: Monday, April 12, 2010 1:01 PM
Subject: having a moment.
Ugh… having a female glass-ceiling moment…
Long story short, the MB just said to me that he lets me think I have some sort of power/authority by him allowing me to do a certain task. Yes, he “allows” me to do it. He said it placates my need to “feel” important. Excuse me??!! My need to FEEL important??!! Now, mind you, HE felt like he was joking around, and I made light of it, but seriously? Did you seriously just say that? Well, like we always say, they discriminate and keep us down even when they don’t realize they’re doing it. Wtf wtf wtf?????!!!!!!
Sent: Monday, April 12, 2010 1:53 PM
To: Amy F.
Subject: Re: having a moment.
And so the two banes of Amy’s existence meet… boys and discrimination in the workplace because she has a vagina (which, by the way, even if the boys-at-work let her forget it, her VB never would…hence the problem with boys…)
Ahhh… middle school. What did boys do in middle school when they liked you but 1) didn’t know what to do about it or 2) you didn’t like them back?
(Isn’t it fun when you realize you’re still there and you’re at work in your mid-20s?)
They were mean. Even if they were trying to be funny while being mean, they were still mean. Especially if they happened to be a boy that knew you well… because he knew just the right button to push. My my… how things have changed. Glad to see we’re growing up.
ONE: that was a shitty thing to say. Pretty much gross, actually. I don’t know how to see that any way but demeaning. WTF exactly.
But… not really. Because TWO… of COURSE he knows how horrible that is. And what did I say before? That the MB is now going to be an ASS. And try to find ways to take some power back from YOU (even if it’s all covert-like and not outright assholeness). He actually has it backwards and in the wrong context. The power is actually your hold on his balls (… and his heart? Awwwwww…. thanks for reminding me of that, GB), not your need to feel power. The context is PERSONAL. NOT WORK. Yet… how else can he feel less vulnerable and more self confident than by putting you down in the one place he knows he can with the one thing he knows he can use?
And, yeah, I get that perhaps this was the end of a circumstance that did indeed have him instructing you on something… or something (whatev)… but the circumstance is irrelevant. I would argue he is constantly (albeit subconsciously) on the lookout for opportunities to asset his manhood and attempt to get his balls (or maybe just some scrotum) back from you. So the circumstance doesn’t matter – the opportunity arose. And, since he can’t ACTUALLY show you his erect penis and perhaps penetrate you with it (…because he didn’t use the opportunities already granted to him…?), in addition to the fact that you now may not want him to anyway, he has to do what he can with the opportunities that arise (although show and tell – I mean penetrate – would make him feel better… for a little while… until he realized you like that too, so… shit… you still have the power even there… and that’s even scarier… or dear! What to do!).
Plus… he has to know it will piss you off. And he knows it’s hurtful and demeaning (hence – what an excellent opportunity!) Dear god, how could such a comment, no matter how deep the tongue is in that cheek, NOT be seen as a low blow? At the very least? I have only one word for it:
Ah well… perhaps we should sit back for a tick and feel sorry for him. I mean… really. Look how far he’s come as a mature, intellectual… hmmm…. It’s actually kind of desperate and sad, if you ask me.
We won’t even talk about predictable (or maybe we will).
Can we also take just one minute to reflect, yet again, on stupid people’s stupid attempt to make us feel like we’re the idiots.
In this case, he says “your need to feel important”. Ummmmmmmmmmm…. newflash. You ARE important. Obviously. But somehow, by stating something completely in opposition to reality… we supposed to be offended and decide that’s true instead?But sometimes we are offended and we do believe them! Because they KNOW that stating the opposite as fact just pushes that button and makes us all weird and crazy. Because it’s so … “are you serious right now??”
Hence “I’m sorry I wouldn’t leave you alone” makes us feel embarrassed! When that doesn’t make any sense at all and THEY’RE the ones that can’t deal with shit!