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a special occasion.

April 8, 2010



I had a fantastic Saturday night this past weekend.


I’m sure you’re dying to know why it was so fabulous. Did I go out clubbing with a huge group of friends til the weeee hours? Have a hot date? Finally get enough sex?


D: None of the above.


I spent Saturday day and night getting drunk on my deck with one other person. Who then spent the night (due to the whole being-drunk thing) – but slept on the other side of my bed.


A BFF of mine, who I will call Amy F from now on, came by during the day because the weather was phenomenal. She made us vodka cocktails (she often BYOBs to my house – she has standards) and we sat in the sun in our bikinis, listening to good tunes and talking shit.


Vodka cocktails turned into this awesome bottle of red she (also) brought with her.


The bottle of red started us on a roll, so we cracked open one of my nice bottles – the ones I save for “special occasions” and hide from most guests so they don’t say “hey let’s open this” and then I have to somehow explain why I don’t want to… without insinuating their presence isn’t worth my bottle of wine.


But. What better special occasion than this?


Empty wine bottles and a setting sun insinuated we perhaps needed to eat some food. After a slightly ridiculous dinner (that involved me attempting to heat up some local chicken chili – Amy is a carnivore – only to realize it was vegetable chowder – a significant let down) Amy turned to me and said “get me some ice cubes and that bottle of Bailey’s.”


Polished off the Bailey’s. But…why stop there? A fabulous day ended with the bottom of a bottle of port.


The whole point of my re-telling this is not because we did anything crazy, came to some amazing conclusion (ok we came to a few… not that I remember them all), or determined the meaning of life. We didn’t. We talked shit, bitched about the MB (yeah – she’s the one dealing with his bullshit), laughed our asses off, and generally shot the shit for… about ten hours.


At the end of the night, we sat there, content and tipsy, staring out at the water… and I would not have traded her presence for a single other person. Ladies and gentlemen… this is what life should be about.


Your friends will be there through whatever bullshit you’re dealing with – in relationships, in work, in life. When you fuck up, they forgive you (even if they have to yell at you first). When someone fucks you up, they come out swinging… and talk you through it. If they’re keepers, they don’t add to the drama in your life – they help you deal with it.


I realize how many women (and men too) in this world are so fucking intent on finding a relationship… but I have never understood when this… preoccupation somehow supersedes everything else. When finding that person, no matter who they are as long as they’ll hold your fucking hand and say “will you marry me?”, means more than practically anything else and anything else, when it gets right down to it, can be completely and utterly sacrificed.


I’ve got news for you. The person holding your hand can still leave/cheat/lie/steal/fuck you over… but those friends that actually are few and far between? Bet you ass if she’s worth it and she knows what’s important?


She won’t.


And I do mean few and far between because you cannot maintain strong friendships with many people – nor would I want to. There are few people worth that – and they make it easy. Look. I have a lot of friends, honey, but only a few I hold very close to my heart. But… I would not sacrifice them or let that friendship slide for anything.


Instead of worrying and wasting (yes I said wasting) your effing time hell-bent on finding your… soulmate (or whatever)… find yourself a life where you have a fabulous deck and fabulous wine… and find the bitch that will sit next to you on that deck and drink your wine. And bring some of her own. A woman who knows that a “special occasion” can be a sunny day and good company.


If the rest (I mean, the relationship) falls into place? Awesome for you. If not? Guess what? You’re already pretty fucking blessed.


Maybe we did stumble on the meaning of life after all.


….nah. We’ve known that all along.



“I’m invincible
so are you.
We do all the things
they say we can’t do.
We walk around
in the middle of the night
and if it’s too far to walk
we just
hitch a ride….


We got rings of dirt
around our necks.
We talk like auctioneers
and we bounce like checks.
We smell like shit
still
when we walk down the street
all the boys line up
to throw themselves at our feet…


I say I think he likes you
you say I think he do too.
Go and get him girl
before he gets you
I’ll be watching you
from the wings
I will come to your rescue
if he tries anything…


It’s a long long road
it’s a big big world.
We are wise wise women
we are giggling girls.
We both carry a smile
to show when we’re pleased
we both carry a switchblade
in our sleeves…


Tell you one thing
I’m gonna make noise when I go down.
For ten square blocks
they’re gonna know I died.
All the goddesses will come up
to the ripped screen door
and say
what do you want, dear?
And I’ll say
I want inside.


I say I think he likes you
You say I think he do too.
Go and get him girl
before he gets you.
I’ll be watching you
from the wings
I will come to your rescue
if he tries anything…

…oh if he tries anything… “


– Ani Difranco
"If He Tries Anything"

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