Tree Hugger Tuesday: Make your own dirt! Glorious dirt!

http://www.howtocompost.org


In last month’s Tree Hugger, I discussed how I’m a saint you can reduce your waste. One of the main ways to do this is also one of my favorite things (no seriously): Composting!

Yes. I adore composting. It warms my heart to throw the vast majority of my crap into a big black bin in my yard and watch it turn to dirt. Lipstick Hippie, that’s me.

So. Why compost?

Well, want to cut down on your waste? Yard trimmings and food scraps, that can be easily composted,  make up 27 percent of the US municipal solid waste. Into recycling? Then do it for your food. But Nikki, won’t it all just break down in the landfill? Not like it will if you compost it. The awesome process of decomposition that turns trash into glorious dirt requires oxygen to produce carbon dioxide and water. When composted, it can get plenty of oxygen. In a landfill, however, there is much less  oxygen (if any) and the process produces methane  -  a greenhouse gas 21 times more potent than CO2. Finally, your scraps prior to composting take up a lot of space, yet that volume will shrink 80% after composting. For that reason, you’d even do the planet a solid by composting before you throw things away.


But why throw it out? Your yard and food waste can break down right back into lovely, delicious dirt – of a quality most of us pay for at the local garden center. Why not make it yourself?

I know, I know. Composting seems daunting. I know many of you will tell me you don’t have time. Or space. Or know how. Or want to get dirty. Or have your kitchen smell like trash. Or have fruit flies. Got another excuse? Bring it.


I’m here to tell you that’s all those statements are: excuses. Composting does not have to take up time, it can be easy, it can be clean, and it shouldn’t smell. Or have more fruit flies than the bananas you leave out til they’re only good for bread. So, enough excuses.

Here’s the deal. There are ten thousand websites out there for more information on composting. They’ll give you the gritty nitty on how much carbon and nitrogen is in your food scraps, how to layer your compost, how to make a perfect blend… etc. etc. etc. So. Instead of regurgitating all that, I’m just going to tell you how I compost, then give some tips and point out some great resources if you have a different situation that I do – as successful composting does depend on  a couple things about where you live:

1. How dry it is.
2. How hot it is.
3. If you live in a city or have a backyard.

So. How do I do it? Easy. No, really.

I have a small silver trashcan in my kitchen. The kind that you step on a button to open, and that have a plastic removable pail inside. When the pail is full, I take it out to the composter in the backyard – then rinse the pail out and let it dry before re-filling.


The composter in my backyard looks like this:


It sits out past my porch – on bare earth so worms and other lil buddies can get to it. And, yes, it does have those nifty doors at the bottom. The compost does not, however, pour nicely out when they’re opened, but all I have to do is dig in a bit with a spade. I take compost from the bottom via these doors, and add it to the potting soil when I start my outside flowers in the spring. I also layer it over my flower beds in the fall, or in early spring if the snow melts.

And that. is. it. Easy peasy pumpkin pie.  Mother Nature does all the work for me.

Now. A lot of websites are going to tell you additional tips. Like you should layer your compost and turn your compost, and what you can and can’t put in your compost.


I don’t turn my compost. I don’t layer my compost. I also put whatever I damn well please in there (yes, this includes meat, bones, and fish scraps). Now, I don’t necessarily condone this. I am lucky and my compost works just fine regardless of my horribly lazy composting etiquette: I live in a humid area where there are plenty of bugs and worms. In addition, I haven’t had problem animals (read: skunks, raccoons) find my compost. Some small ones clearly have, but they seem to be doing me a favor – by turning my compost for me. And this doesn’t freak me out in the least.

Moreover, I am not putting this compost on a vegetable garden – only flowers. Although, historically, people used fish and bone byproducts to fertilize their fields, and they still use animal poop (but clearly not meat-eating animal poop).

Now. This won’t be the experience of everyone – but if you live in a place with a yard that gets wet where things decompose quicker and there are a lot of worms, etc, you can probably be just as lazy as I am. In fact, if you have enough space, you could be even lazier, and just have a compost pile. That is, a section of your yard where you just dump your compost without an actual composter. If you’re this lucky, here are some tips for an easy compost pile.

But what if you don’t? Well, first check out the Environmental Protection Agency’s searchable maps for tips on composting in your area. Additionally, you may have a legit concern (that is not an excuse).

1. Legit Problem One: It’s dry here. My parents have a composter, but they live in a really arid location. Their compost can just sit there, doing nothing. If the compost dries out too much, decomp will happen slower, and you won’t attract the crawlers and worms you need to help you. My advice? Add water: dump your compost bucket out, then go rinse it, and dump the rinse water in too. Depending on how often you add food waste, you may need to add more water – but don’t overdo it. Also, keep in mind the summer may dry it out and slow down the decomp process.
2. Legit Problem Two: I don’t have a yard. So you live in a city and you don’t have a yard in which to place a composter or compost pile. Well, great news! You can still compost! Hoorah! If you have a fire escape or a small outside area, here are some quick tips for an urban compost. No outside area at all? Try worm composting under your sink or in your basement (for serious!) – some tips can be found here and here. I know, I know – worms in your house?? But, c’mon… who doesn’t love worms?? Like, for realz yo!
3. Legit Problem Three: I don’t have a yard part two. You’re still in the city, still with no yard. You’ve got a compost going. But now – what to do with all this lovely dirt? There are still options: check out Craig’s list or a local or community garden – they’ll never turn down free compost. You can also add finished compost to your houseplants, or take it outside to the tree or other plants in your neighborhood. I promise they can use the great added nutrients you’re giving them – it’s a little thanks for the air they clean for you!
4. Legit Problem Four: I really for serious don’t want compost in my house/yard. Ummm… get over it and get used to your own waste? You made it you deal with it? No? Ok. Well, even if you’re still not convinced that composting is no worse than dealing your normal trash (in fact better when it turns to glorious dirt!) there are other options – such as composting pick-up or places to drop-off – but they may not be everywhere. For me, I dropped off my compost to a local organic garden near my work for over two years. You can ask around at local or community gardens – I’ll be shocked if they turn down free compost. In some areas, composting pick-up is also getting started. Sure, few and far between, but it is out there. Check out the interwebs to see if either of these options are available in yoru area!
5. Legit Problem Five: I don’t have time. Oh, I’m sorry. Did I say this is a legit problem? Cuz it’s not. Composting takes as about as much time as you spend taking out your trash. So, no. “I don’t have time” is not a legit excuse. Next!

And now, let me answer some questions I assume you might have:




1. Does it smell? Well, maybe a lil bit in the summer, but if your compost smells enough to be noticeable, you’re doing something wrong.
2. But what about in your house? Doesn’t it smell there? I’ve found the key to smell is the metal trashcan I use. It has a pretty good seal on it, and that alone keeps smell to a minimum. I also use a rather small can so I’m forced to take it out regularly. Another option is putting your compost in the fridge or freezer until you have enough to take out.
3. Aren’t there bugs? YES the composter in the yard gets a bunch of bugs in the summer – but that’s the point. One thing your compost should not have is a lot of flies – but there will be a lil micro ecosystem goin’ on in there if you do things right (which I, of course, find wicked cool). But, yeah, you do have to get over your ickiness about/fear of bugs if you’re going to have compost. Hey – if you’re not going to do the work, but you want that shiz to break down, someone has to do it.If you are getting a whole lot of flies, probably dial back the meat scraps and forget I ever said that was ok.
4. What about in the winter when it gets cold? No problem. I still compost. In fact, my compost generates its own heat at the bottom due to the combustion of decomposition. I actually get a lot of sink over the winter months. That said, a lot of it pretty much freezes in the winter, only to start fresh in the summer again.
5. What about fruit flies? I hate fruit flies! The key to fruit flies is the same as with smell: the metal trashcan and the seal on it. I rarely notice fruit flies in it during the summer, even when I have them on fruit on my counter. I do have friends with more open compost containers for their kitchens, and they do get fruit flies. Again, keeping it in the fridge or freezer can help with that.
6. My compost is getting full, can I squish it down? No. Please don’t. You need the air and the space in there for oxygen and for the microbes that are doing all that work. If you need to wait to add to your pile, than just give it some time, and try again. If you have a composter like mine, try pulling some dirt from the bottom.
7. What should I not add? Even though I’m lazy, this is still a good question. First, while I add some meat byproducts to mine and don’t notice a smell, almost every other source says not to do this – for the smell and the probability of attracting animals. I do add a lot more yard and vegetable byproducts than animal-oriented ones. Second, don’t add weeds unless you are absolutely sure they are nowhere near seeding. Not even green seeds. If you do add them with any chance of seed germination, you’ll just spread the weeds. This is particularly important for invasive species.

So that’s it! Really. It’s about finding space, setting up a composter or bin, and just going for it! Nature takes care of the rest. And, yeah, if you’re a city-dweller, it will be more difficult, but it’s still important and there are options!

Finally, some great additional resources, especially if you are looking to start a compost pile, use worms, or really want to get into it:

Environmental Protection Agency – Composting Info

Earth Easy

How To Compost.Org

Attainable Sustainable: Composting For the Lazy Person


More specifically:

Info on composting piles or composting bins.

Make your own bin.

What to compost


And, of course, more info on composting in the city can be found here, with motivation to do so and additional tips here.

Happy composting!



From http://climatelab.org/

No Expectations.

From someecards.com - PS in case you're wondering, apparently searching for images of "fuck buddies" will get you a lot of gay porn. There's a message in that.


Oh, hey. No, no. It’s really me. What? You don’t recognize me without my Fighting Feminazi cape and thigh-high ass-kickin’ red boots??


I kid, but takin’ a break from the patriarchal, racist asshatery for a tick because, lo and behold, I still have a personal life.


So. Met a dude. Or, rather, decided that I was more into a dude I’ve known for some time now. Let’s call him… Canada. There was some Adult Activities that included my bed and not that many clothes. That was… a week ago Friday. Since then, we’ve basically done nothing other than a brief conversation that established us on the same page – a page titled No Expectations.

Now. Over the weekend, my group of friends had an annual event – which is one of two such annual events where there is a high probability I will actually get shitcanned. Typically, I’m not all that into getting shitcanned. It’s not really my thing. But these events involve drinking for. an. entire. day. so… it happens.


During this day, Canada and I talked a lil bit, but not a whole lot. See, none of our friends even know we’re more than acquaintances and we’re both pretty private people (no, seriously). We’re not really into being all public (or at all public). In addition, No Expectations page = no commandeering of one another’s time anyway. I will say, had anyone been paying much attention, we were clearly comfortable in one another’s personal space when we did exchange pleasantries.

All this was fine. Until yours truly started to, you guessed it,  get shitcanned.

Actually, no. That was only half the issue. The other half was Alaska. Or, rather, a dude I shall refer to as Alaska. In the theme of geographically-inspired nicknames.


Alaska was perfectly happy to commandeer as much of my time as he possibly could. And flirt his lil fanny right off.

Now, I thought I was doing ok with the whole balancing world powers at parties thing (US and Canada? get it?). I thought I was handling my shit. I really did. But, you know, I was also getting shitcanned. So there’s that. Apparently, as my one friend who knew what was up and wasn’t shitcanned, can attest – I was not, actually, invisible to Canada when talking to Alaska. And vice versa.

Regardless.

Cue the end of the night, I’m still thinking I did ok. Moreover, I think I’ve been talking to Canada way more than Alaska at this point. At least… that is my recollection… I also have no real designs on Alaska, it’s just Drunk Nikki is a big fat fucking flirt face. SO Canada and I end up making-out… on the well-lit front porch (we are so sneaky!). Then, of course, I get into some ridic conversation with an old friend for what felt like five minutes (but was perhaps a wee bit longer than that) and Canada is now MIA.


Naturally, (because I am now completely shitcanned) I call him. He answers, and says he wasn’t feeling that great and went home. I’m a lil wtf… but ask if he’s feeling better he says yeah and [I also want to get laid so] I say “ok, I can come over…?” To which he replies “sure, but I can’t promise I’ll still be up.“

Ahem. Ahem? Oh, my dear boy, that was probably the last thing to say to Drunk Nikki when she overlooks the fact that you ditched her and is ready to walk her ass to your house. Even if it’s not, really, that far away.


I might have gotten a lil shit-flippy at this point (shitcanned!) and he says he’s just being honest (ok) but Drunk Nikki (yes I will refer to myself in the third person) has already made the unfortunate mental leap to an ex boyfriend to whom she would now, in all likelihood, be married had said ex had a similar sex drive. Which he did not. Hence, not married.


By now, the shitcannery has resulted in the loss of any and all filter between random leaps of the brain and words that come out of my mouth. I may have perhaps quite possibly decided that now would be a great time to explain about said ex and his low sex drive and how I broke up with him because of it (yep! still shitcanned!). No. No that wasn’t the best of ideas. I agree. That was a little less than awesome. But, you know, I made up for it by interrupting myself to yell at a friend for a ride, and made sure to end further dialogue by, but of course, hanging up the phone.

Yes. Well. We did send exactly six texts total on Sunday that basically equated to both of us stating we weren’t “worried”. Which is like saying things are fine. Which I am sure that they are, because this thing is too new for them not to be. BUT.

Now. I am telling you all this for a reason (and not just to talk about something less serious for half a second). I do have a point, I swearz it. And it is this:

I am all about easy things. I am all about No Expectations. I don’t have the time, nor the desire, to date. I do want to have sex. More sex than I am having right now.


And, you know, people argue over whether or not things like this are easier than dating, or even easy at all. Well, let me explain something to you: They can be easy, but they can also be a real pain in the arse unless you have a couple things, and those things are 1) Communication and 2) Honesty. I think a lot of No Strings Things fall apart not because one person (guess which gender we assume that person to be!) gets more emotionally attached, but because there isn’t enough of these two things. There isn’t enough communication and honesty about what is going on and what everyone involved actually wants. Why? Oh, because we’re not supposed to really talk about things in No Strings Land of course! We’re not supposed to care or have any kind of emotions. Because talking and caring are things you only do in relationships. Right???

Hence, I am now sitting here, wondering what Canada is thinking or where this is going, frankly. And we only had sex the one time for crying out loud. I want to have a conversation about all that, and about how yeah, Alaska’s pretty hot (ok leave that part out) but I’d like to see where this goes, Canada. I want to apologize for my behavior with him without you feeling obliged to tell me it doesn’t matter cuz No Expectations. I also want to hear an honest answer to the whole hey-my-ex-didn’t-fuck-me-enough-don’t-wanna-go-through-that-again-and-then-I-hung-up-on-you… thing instead of “hey, no, I’m not worried. It’s cool.” Because it’s kinda not all that cool. And, no, me being drunk is a nice excuse, but it doesn’t negate the fact that I just put a relatively large piece of personal crap into this thing that’s supposed to be easy. I use “relatively” for a reason.


And, yes, I get all that is more than likely unnecessary, and it feels too soon for any of those conversations, and that things are probably fine – because this is too new and undefined for them not to be. But wouldn’t it be nice to have the space for those conversations, if one of us wanted to have them? Wouldn’t it be better if we allowed for things to be talked about and expressed and it was ok to be honest about things like how you’re feeling instead of hiding them simply because this isn’t a serious thing.


Whether or not those conversations are necessary, I want the option for them to occur on the table. I want to be able to have these conversations without someone thinking it means I want to change Canada’s name to Boyfriend. Because I don’t. Because honest conversations don’t have to mean I’m lying about all this and really I want to have your babies pleaseandthankyou. Or that Canada can tell me how I made him uncomfortable or irritated without feeling like I think he’s too emotionally involved already. Moreover, these conversations don’t have to take ten years, either. The more honest we all are the quicker they are over.

We should be able to talk more and listen more and be honest more and be open more in all of our relationships. Relationships that aren’t serious don’t automatically equate to ones that are non-communicative or let’s pretend I don’t feel anything or care. Having honest conversation is not, in of itself, serious – but is, in fact, still critical to healthy relationships, whatever their boundaries, definitions, or lack thereof.

So why have we decided that communication and honesty are always “too serious”… yet also never critical enough?

Of course, another thing that could help? Less whiskey.

If I roar, will anyone hear me?

I wrote this post last week after reading the piece by Soraya Chemaly… and then Lori Day posted something so similar on Monday. We’re not alone – even though we feel that way, despite all of the reasons we feel that way. We have to keep telling ourselves, and each other, that – and keep talking, keep discussing, keep explaining…




♦ ◊ ♦


You know, I don’t have time for this. I don’t have time. I don’t even have time to check in with my tweet peeps or read blogs I like or articles that sound interesting. If it’s not this thing I need to write or these statistics I need to run, I don’t have time.


AND YET.

I choose to read one thing this morning. THIS amazeballs article by Soraya Chemaly in HuffPo.


She’s angry. I’M ANGRY. And I am more than angry (and not in the super-ultra-angry sense, but in the other-emotions-in-addition-to-anger sense, you know, those deeply saddened/disheartened/shocked emotions).


As I was reading it, I was struck by two things. And sometimes, when I am struck, I just have to write. So I do. Even when I don’t have the time for it.

First, I remembered the 2004 elections. I was working in Kentucky at the time (yep that is correct). That election was so shocking, so disheartening, so disturbing, so sad not just because of who ended up in the White House,  but because I felt that election was won on gay marriage and gay rights (with some abortion thrown in). Or, rather, because peopledidn’t want gay marriage or gay rights.

The idea that I lived in a country that could be so heartless and so bigoted and so awful… it made me so angry and so upset and so sad. I no longer felt I belonged.


Yet, this election year, I was stuck with the feeling that the only silver lining to everything that is happening with women’s health rights (goddamn it these are my civil human rights, people!) these days is that there is, somewhere in there, evidence that the right -wing crazy people (no not all Republicans, but you can take your party back any. time. now.) have determined gay rights won’t win them this election. Yes, obviously this is no time to give up, and there is plenty of homophobia and horribleness still in the world… but – something has changed in the few short years since 2004.


That is heartening. It truly is.

But now we come to my second point.


If politicians have somehow, at least for now, decided that public homophobia is no longer strong enough in this country to run a presidential campaign on (they’ll leave it to the states)… how did we end up using my body, my sex life, and my very womb as the new battleground? How did we get back here?




How are my politicians actually determining for me that they can put a 6 to 8 inch probe that I don’t need in my vagina without my consent?? How are we debating my health care and reproductive rights without my voice?? How does my choice to have and enjoy sex make me a prostitute and I might as well post the video to YouTube so that horrible little man can watch it?? Why am I being forced to carry a dead fetus in my own body simply because cows and pigs do it??

Cows and pigs, people. Cows and pigs.

And, you know, I could go on. I could go on. That alone is shocking to me. In 2012. It. is. shocking.

But, you know, that’s not the worst part. That’s not what makes me more than angry. It’s not what fundamentally shakes me. It’s the reality that these politicians think they have enough support to pull this crap, now in 20-fucking-12, and we, the American public, have not shut them the fuck down.

It’s that I feel so alone in this. Even thought there are amazing women and men who do care and are not silent, this amazing group I actually feel a part of right here at my internet-endowed fingertips – this brick wall doesn’t seem to go anywhere and my head still seems to find it at very high speeds.  


And I am not even alone in feeling alone! As Lori Day relates in her piece in HuffPo:

I sometimes write about anomie. It’s one of my favorite words, acquired in college Sociology 101, describing the moral disconnect one can feel between his or her own personal values, and the values and laws thrust upon the individual by society. I am writhing in anomie these days, and it is a very lonely place.

That loneliness is exacerbated by the silent apathy of so many women (and men) who do not understand or approve of why I am screaming my agony through social media. They do not get why I am fighting through the white noise of the internet to cajole my personal and professional networks on Facebook, Twitter and the blogs where I write to broadcast and amplify my voice, just as I do that very same thing for others who are calling out to a variably engaged/indifferent/antagonistic panoply of human beings who either do or don’t care that women have essential human rights. In these moments of screaming, I am wrestling with my loneliness, beating it back, smothering it.


Moreover, it really is much more than just feeling so alone in this, the battle for my very body, my health my life my choices. I believe everything just feels so very hurtful and so very alarming and so very alienating… because of it fundamentally feels deeper. 


It’s the feeling that people, even those close to me, dont. fucking. care. Or they don’t care enough. That so many have decided, whether or not they admit it to me or themselves, this isn’t really important. The many excuses they tell me and themselves as to why they believe that. They actually engage the “freedom of religion” argument as if it were even remotely legit or the real reason for any of this crap. They are quick to nitpick and get into details – and, in so doing, literally refuse to see the greater picture. They are fine with pretending this conversation is some political thing when talking about my. basic. rights. and whether or not I’m comparable to farm animals.

Even worse? Those that are quick to shrug their shoulders. To dismiss this outright – with no real excuse. To not engage at all.


In addition, the many who are also perfectly happy to allow the patriarchy to protect them from this. I mean, why are we again discussing birth control and family planning and sexual health as if women are the only ones who do this and men have nothing to say about it?? Why are so many men silent, when they have wives and sisters and daughters and mothers?? Why are we calling all of this “women’s health” when it is so clearly SO MUCH MORE?

And it’s not just in the people out there … but the people RIGHT HERE too. The brick wall in my backyard.

It’s the fundamental intuition that people aren’t engaging because they don’t see this is an issue.  Women already have rights, don’t they? You ladies are all up in college and working and don’t see y’all in the kitchen making me a sandwich so what’re you complaining about? Or did you not get that memo?

Because the sexism and misogyny are so ingrained, we don’t even see it anymore.

I’m not alone in feeling this. I am not making this up. From another awesome piece by Yashar Ali:

Women who attempt to address or discuss concerns they have with the men who claim to love them too often get a wave of the hand, and hear “Yeah yeah, women’s rights, it’s important, I know, whatever.”

The men who dismiss these women treat their desire for equality as if it were a hobby or a pet project. But in these moments, men are fundamentally dismissing the women they are speaking with.

So, ya know, it’s not just that this horrific affront to my rights, my body, and my choices is happening to me right now today and will be the forefront of the freakin presidential election this fall (for why??? when we have so many other things to effing deal with!). That alone would be bad enough. But it’s more than that. It’s the reaction, the lack of engagement by people who should be engaged. It’s that we don’t talk about why people are dismissive and apathetic, too. It’s that no one wants to admit, or discuss, or examine in themselves those underlying reasons. Again, I’ll let Yashar Ali explain:

I see one central problem as connected with the men who are fundamentally good, but who pretend as if there is no major gender imbalance. These men, like my friend, when asked if women deserve equality, resoundingly respond “yes.” But when they are put in a position to support the women in their lives or when they are put in a place where they can directly react to discrimination, they lack any sort of action or assertion, or worst yet, they only offer dismissal.

These men may see this dismissal as a matter of opinion–almost as if a political issue is being discussed. But in reality, in that moment, they are committing wholesale dismissal of these women. They are failing to show empathy for the unique experience of all women and for the women in their lives, in particular. They are deciding what is valid based on the lens that feels most comfortable to them: one of male comfort and privilege.


This is why it’s so much more. The dismissal you are not even aware of. The validity you withhold, without even knowing it. The subtlety of all of that – how it undermines and degrades, without being obvious. The power there – and the fact that you probably won’t even discuss it with me, or look for it in yourself.


Don’t shrug your shoulders or roll your eyes – even in jest. Don’t “explain” to me that this is a political issue or a religious issue or a moral issue. Don’t provide statistics as if they offer some kind of rationale for why my feelings are invalid or I’m just being paranoid. Don’t ignore everything I’ve just said because, well, maybe I just think all men hate women, or that men don’t support women ever, or aren’t feminists (because – DUH).

Instead: Listen. Learn. Empathize. Strive to understand. Speak out.


Because we need your help. We need you to listen. We need you to believe us. We need your voice – and we need your compassion, your empathy, and your understanding.

We are your daughters and sisters and wives and mothers and aunts and girlfriends and fuckbuddies and friends, and we are being reduced to 1950s boxes and second-class citizens before your very eyes. Our choices are being questioned and taken away, our bodies are being used as “religious” and “moral” battlegrounds, our privacy invaded, our health care and sexuality taken away. We need you to stop dismissing our voices and our gut [wrenching] feelings, and join us in this fight (YES I WILL USE THAT TERM THANK YOU VERY MUCH).

I Have No Free Time, or Backyards and Between Friends: An Update

First, and update on my last post:


I did speak with my grad student senate president. There were not, actually, conversations about the women’s commission post, he just had two e-mails from other exec board members. Moreover, it wasn’t exactly about the fact I posted on the Women’s Commission FB. It was a lil different (which was both better and… worse? Will discuss below) Whew. I do feel better about that, and I do feel a little better about my friends.


That said. I still have some concerns (although at not nearly the level last week).



1. What’s wrong with vaginas? Apparently, the other exec members were concerned because the thumbnail attached to the FB post re: the women’s commiss page was of four women in vagina costumes (actually forgot about that when I posted it – or didn’t notice). SO, the other execs were worried about that being the first thing people saw on our FB page. Because, vah-gi-nas! vah-gi-nas! ack!
   
And, pray tell, what kind of costumes? Atomically correct? Pornigraphically explicit? Nope. Big puffy pink satiny vagina cotumes! Wheeee! …or no? Not funny? OK. So at first I’m all well if you think puffy vaginas are offensive, I think you’re offensive! but then I thought about if it were puffy pink penis costumes… nope! still think you’re offensive! … buuuut I suppose the point remains: We are not, as a society, all that comfy with the private bits. Lame as that is…




2. Where is the line? Still wondering this. Should we really be all that worried about the people who can’t handle ladybits? Especially bright pink buffy satiny ones?? Moreover… IS that all they were worried about? I mean, I still think there was some umcomfyness from my male counterparts on publicly engaging the Women’s Commiss thang, and some unconscious desire to avoid conflict [over something that shouldn't be political] to err on the side of “caution” – when, excuse me, but that uncomfy be my body and my rights. Thanks for the support guys!

   
More generally, I have some worry that this speaks to what is happening on a national level: men and women avoiding the conflict. Because they don’t want to, what, get dirty? Political? Join the fray? When, AHEM! WE COULD USE YOUR HELP, OR AT LEAST YOUR VOICE HERE. Apathy! Augh! 




3. Why you be hatin’ on the menz?? The initial response from my president was, well, surprising… and also not. Basically, I said that, on a personal level I was questioning how much support women had on this campus. I said I felt that there was a disconnect between men and women (and women and women, let’s be honest) when it comes to women’s rights – one I knew about (thanks for that lesson, Good Men Project/blogging world!), but didn’t expect to be so close to me. That it was unsettling and upsetting to have it so close (backyards, people!). He responded with a pretty classic response (one I wouldn’t have expected from him, however): “why do you think all men hate women??” Word for word it was:

   Obviously, something was misconstrued in the email.  Here is what I wrote: “several of the other execs have expressed concern about what we may have posted in the past given that we did not have a policy.”   It should be interpreted as follows: “None of the other execs really follow all the things we have posted and were wondering if we may have posted anything that we maybe should talk about as we develop a social media policy.“  If it came across as this: “Everyone is against the women’s commission and hates women in general.” that is wrong.

   
I never said I felt everyone hated women. Or anything even close. Yet this reaction, that if you are a woman complaining about the way things are, you must be saying men hate women, is … so… classic (side-eye to Tom Matlack and the “piling on” bitlast year). I would like to understand this response. I hazard part of it is how we women choose to express ourselves. Clearly, we need to find better language that is more clear. However, also clearly, men jump to conclusions. Why? Why do they do that? I mean, I have my own thoughts on this, but curious for yours!

Anyway. Just a quick update. Because that’s about all I’ve got time/energy for at present. BUT ALSO. I have two guest posts out!


Check out new one at Met Another Frog on sexual fluidity: The Importance of Space Outside the Box.


Also over at the Good Men Project on why all this women’s health and contraception stuff is about men, too: Women Only? Not even close!

The comments alone on that one… yikes. Why would I expect less? But.. they do make me want to write a whole post in response. Which I probs will. And, really, I wanna write about this new dude in my world, or about how I love penises or about yoga! Ah, well.

Happy reading ~ and please leave your thoughts!


XX

Nikki

In Backyards & Between Friends: When Politics Get Personal


I am very, very upset. About my backyard. I am asking for your help making sense of it all.


Basically, I’m going to summarize all that’s been going down, as concisely and to-the-point as possible (we’ll see how that goes), and make two more personal notes. Then, I’d like to pose some questions I’d really like feedback on. I hope you’ll respond.

First, what happened in my backyard:



1. I am a doctoral candidate at a public, state-funded university – in a liberal area, but with some surrounding less liberal (more… libertarian) areas. We are also in the midst of a significant financial crisis, with funds being revoked from the state.
2. I am one of two graduate student representatives to the President’s Commission on the Status of Women. The first line in our mission statement says we are committed to advocacy and education. I am also on the executive board of our graduate student senate.
3. This Commission had been posting articles and petitions regarding recent controversy in women’s health and contraception on our Facebook page.
4. Two weeks ago, an op-ed ran in a local paper. This paper has consistently vilified  my university as basically  wasting tax dollars to preach liberalism and probably make everyone gay. Who knows. But you get the picture. This particular editorial lashed out at the Women’s Commission, saying it was a waste of money, seeing as women are no longer barred from faculty positions or admission. It then lit into our Facebook page, making inflammatory remarks and misconstruing the posts made there (you can imagine, I am sure).
5. Within a day, one of the women who admins the Facebook page was called on the phone and instructed to suspend said page immediately. There was no further dialogue or discourse. The official statement was “all Facebook pages will be suspended while [the University] drafts Facebook policies for University pages.”
6. The only other page to come down was under the direct administration of the person who made the phone call to have the Women’s Commission page suspended.
7. We had a meeting yesterday afternoon that made clear the following: 1.) The University Administration will hide behind the defense that “there were concerns about the Women’s Commission page for some time, and it was simply terrible timing with the editorial”, and 2.) the Administration had no desire to be forthcoming on which posts it found inappropriate, nor address its handling of the situation – e.g. no dialogue or conversation – only repeating that they “tried” to get in touch with Commission chairs to discuss the situation before forcing the suspension (yet, clearly e-mail and other correspondence occurred without engaging any of the Commission members).
8. Fortunately, the end result was determining reviewing University bylaws and practice regarding Facebook pages (which were already in place, actually. Didn’t feel like mentioning them? No?). The Commission Facebook returned live that evening – and, really, it will be of higher quality as a result of this conversation (despite some significantly difficult moments where women on the Commission were shut down, or invalidated, and our greater concerns regarding the University’s treatment of us as Commission were ignored.)

Now. This also happened:



1. The day of the Facebook policy (or whatever) meeting, the University student paper ran a piece about the Commission page being suspended. I posted it to my graduate student senate Facebook with the title “This happened.” It did post as “XXX [Graduate Student Senate]” and not as a post by me personally because I am an admin on the page.
2. I also had a graduate senate meeting that day. Just prior to the meeting, I raised this issue with the other people on the exec board (I am the only woman). The general response was that it was inappropriate for a President’s Commission to even have an open Facebook page, and that we should not be posting things as we did. One other exec member felt the only appropriate use of our time is to have Commission meetings where we discuss issues, draft official statements, and provide only those to the greater public. Another exec felt that the page was “spammy” and didn’t like that we had so many links going up (keep in mind, this was over the period of time from the Issa Circus House Committee Hearing to Rush Limbaugh calling Sandra Fluke a slut).
3. This evening (one and a half days later), I received an e-mail from my graduate student President “checking in” with me about the “Facebook fiasco”. In it, he said “other exec members” (there are six of us, again I’m the only woman) had concerns about what we post on the graduate student senate page – the reason given was we didn’t have a Facebook policy. I was not in the room for any of these discussions, I was not informed personally of any problems or concerns, nor did the other exec members let our President know which posts they had problems with.
4. On review of our Graduate Student Senate page, it is clear that we only post about events happening on campus – except for my post about the Women’s Commission page coming down. No one has ever voiced concern, and no exec member has had a problem until I did that.

A few personal notes:



1. Along with other women on campus and on the Commission, we want to make something positive out of this. We felt hopeful we’d have support from other Commissions (People of Color, LGBTQ+, and Disability) in terms of speaking out about the University’s handling of this. I also thought we would have the support of the Student and Faculty Senates. I am no longer certain of that support.




2. While all of this has been incredibly discouraging and frustrating, it is the e-mail I received tonight that hurt the most. Part of it is being able to deal with shit from people *out there* in the world – and then having to realize it’s in your own backyard, where you thought you were safe. However. What really does it is … all of the dudes on the graduate student senate are my close friends. I love them. I don’t want to see them in this light. It breaks my heart to understand the disconnect, this excuses, the inability and unwillingness to comprehend and understand, is not just out there – but among my friends. I’ve already told our senate President that I won’t engage this conversation over Facebook and will just go with what they want to do. Not because I think it’s right – but because I just feel like I can’t fight about this with my friends. I know, I know, I  should. I know. But… it just breaks my heart to have to see them like this. On this side. Arguing with me about this. Not understanding. Not hearing me. Thinking it’s just about a Facebook page or it’s just a post or calm down what’s wrong with you. I just. can’t.

So. Given all of that. I have some questions I hope you can help me to think about. I really want to hear what people think who are not on this lil college campus, who aren’t so close. Who have, perhaps, greater experience with this.



1. Where is the place on university campuses for advocacy? Should universities be taking a stance on particular issues – especially given the fact that the issue itself isn’t really political but has been made so by someone else? Should a commission, that is clearly and officially tied to the University President’s office, be allowed to speak out, educate, or advocate for specific issues? Should official student political bodies speak out? (As a side note, we do draft resolutions regarding legislative action by our state government, vote on them, and post them publicly).




2. Any thoughts on the role of social media for institutions of higher education in today’s world? Is the appropriate place for advocacy on college campuses in official meetings where official resolutions and statements are drafted – or should we be embracing and utilizing social media?




3. On a more personal note, any advice for dealing with this in those you love? I understand a life lesson is coming face-to-face with this shiz in your own backyard and among your own friends. Really, I should have learned this lesson when I came out. But what are some thoughts about engaging dialogue with friends? About attempting to bridge this disconnect? Any thoughts on it being particularly difficult around women’s issues? What I mean, I feel this is especially difficult because the men around me do not see the issue and probably, deep down, don’t believe women have issues to be complaining about… know what I mean? Am I alone in this experience with close friends or family? How did you deal?

   
Most importantly:




4. How do we make this positive? How do we apply this lesson towards achieving equality at a greater scale? I am fully aware that marginalized groups can often be at war with one another, fighting about who has it worse, and who has more Shit Street Cred. How can we engage allies, and make this into lessons we can come together on? Moreover, I am seriously concerned that groups I assumed were allies, simply because we’re all in the shit together, also don’t believe feminism to be valid any longer – but may be unwilling to actually say so, but may still undermine women in more subtle ways or ignore it when others do. How do I deal with this? How do I encourage the other Commissions and my friends to see this is an issue for all of us, that we should be united on?

That’s it. That’s where I’m at. I feel very isolated and shocked by how personal this has become, and am having trouble making sense of many things or how best to move forward. I feel fundamentally and deeply disheartened. Any thoughts?




Tree-Hugger Tuesday – Loads of crap!

Waste worker strikes are great ways to make our waste visible... image from http://discardstudies.files.wordpress.com

Yeah, I know it’s not Tuesday. I know Tuesday was yesterday. I have my reasons. Apologies to Tuesday.

ANYhoozers.

Been awhile for the Tree-Huggers! Sorry about that – a bit distracted! Well, to get back into it, I thought I’d start out by talking trash.


More specifically, my trash.

See, in a previous Tree-Hugger post, I happened to mention that I take out about 3-4 (typically 3) normal-sized bags of trash a year. I mean this for serious, and I mean “normal sized“: my town “taxes” trash by requiring you to buy specific trash bags. So it’s 3-4 of those, not some gonzo-sized bag, and they’re not bursting (who wants to guess if my state can afford fancy-pants trash bags that can handle being overstuffed?).

As a result of this statement, Miss Thoughts called me a saint. Who, me?


While Thoughtsy is pretty awesome and we all want to take her words as gospel, I’m not actually a saint. In fact, I don’t think reducing my loads of crap to a couple bags even a miracle. It’s not even that difficult.


So. How do I do it? Simple:



1. Reduce & Reuse: I’ve already discussed the importance of this in a previous Tree-Hugger, but I’d like to re-iterate the importance of reusing. A friend of mine dated a dude who was insanely wealthy, but he hated washing dishes (and dishwashers apparently?). He had not dishes, simply cabinets and drawers full of plastic cutlery and paper plates. Such a despicable lifestyle would be a deal breaker for me. I tend avoid such disposable items kinda like they’re a plague. Instead, I use cloth napkins,  washable scrubby dishcloths for washing dishes, and cloth for cleaning and floors. I bring my own bags AND plastic bags (for the bins/produce if I actually purchase some) to the store, I rinse out ziploc bags, and I am never without a reusable water bottle and/or coffee mug. I’m bringing back the handkerchief. Do I feel a lil silly sometimes? Sure. Do I care? No. Simply replacing disposables with things that can be reused instead of thrown away can be HUGE to diminishing your loads of crap. PLUS! It can save you money!

   
A lil sidenote on re-using food (hear me out, mmkay): throw vegetable and meat “trash” (cores, trimmings, stalks, bones) in the freezer. When you’ve reached a, er, critical mass, use it to make stock! Simply toss into a large pot, add water, salt, pepper and any other species – and simmer!




2. Recycle: I’ve argued before, recycling should be your last-ditch effort after reducing and reusing. However, making sure to recycle definitely cuts down the waste you put curbside. If you’re not sure what you can recycle, ask your town or at your work what they will take and when. Funny…most of my recycling is glass bottles of the wine variety…




3. Cut down on packaging: Next time you go to a grocery store, take a minute to check out how things are packaged. Note how we really really like to put things in a bag, or many bags, and then in box. Or maybe a box first, then wrap it in plastic, then put it in a bag, in another box. Or whatever. Doesn’t really matter the order, or the amount, or the reasoning behind it – buy that item, and all that crap ends up in your trash. To avoid (and to actually eat healthier!) I recommend the following: a) shop around the perimeter of a store as much as possible, and b) shop the bulk bins (using, of course, the plastic bags you’ve brought with you). Doing this will not only automatically cut down on excess packaging in one fell swoop, it will also eliminate a lot of processed crap from your cart at check-out!




4. Compost: I need an entire post just on this and how to do it (maybe next month!) but composting is another biggie in cutting down waste – because it turns your waste into something positive. I create a whole crap-load of compost, but it’s no longer waste – it’s food for my flowers in the summer. Moroever, it actually re-generates food for me: last year, my compost grew me several tomato bushes, peppers, butternut squash, a pumpkin, and a gigantic sunflower. I did not water it, tend it – I only fed it my compost!




5. Eat locally: This may seem to be less intuitive, but eating locally (e.g farmer’s markets, farm stands) cuts down your waste drastically. Why? It’s rarely anything beyond minimally packaged, and you can, more often than not, bring your own re-used plastic bags to farmer’s markets. Thus, you end up with awesome, whole foods without any new packaging – the waste of which goes into the compost! Some ideas on how to do this can be found in this post, even though it’s about the holidays.

That’s it. That is all I do to achieve Crap Saint status. Not all that difficult, and can actually improve your diet and save you money. Being green is, once again, good for you too!

Image from http://www.truthalyzer.com/

Couple things…

Good morning, kittens. Couple things.

One: Project X


Katie (Simone came out of the blogging closet, ‘member) and I have talked briefly about this, and consensus is that we won’t be putting down Project X after a set number of posts. Instead, we’ll revive it when we both feel like writing about something pertinent – say, once a month. We’d also like to actually find a good name for it…

Two: This week


I will be posting a Tree-Hugger Tuesday – but it’ll be tomorrow. Yes, I am aware that’s not a Tuesday, that’s a Wednesday. However. Things have been shitballs crazy and I had meetings from 9am straight through 7pm yesterday and a ridic weekend and some stress and some family shit so that’s when it’ll happen. Apologies to Tuesday for misuse of its name. 

Three: SHITBALLS


In case you haven’t been living in a cave/under a rock, you know there has been SOME SHIT in the US these days. Oh, like this shit and this shit and this shit  and this shit and this shit and this shit. I don’t have time to get into it, but I just want to say that this SHIZ is not just at a national level – it is IN OUR BACKYARDS.


Look, I really really want to write something fun and light and silly. I know I’ve been pretty goddamn serious as of late. I’d like to talk a about sex, and about bodies, and about yoga, and about digging yourself out of feeling like crap. But – AUGH!

How can I ignore this stuff? How can I not talk about it, when it be all up IN my ladybusiness?


And, just recently, it’s become EVEN MORE personal (how is that possible, you ask? Well). I am about thisclose to coming out as a blogger – simply because I want to talk about how this has become even more personal. I want to talk about my FUCKING BACKYARD. Let’s see… on one hand is the dude who is enforcing his homophobic agenda on EVERYONE and peeps ain’t even wise enough to get it. On the other, oh, well, let’s see. You know how I am on this official organization about women’s issues? Well. Two weeks ago, an editorial ran in this right-wing paper that has a history of being colossally douchey. As a result of said inflammatory ridic EDITORIAL, my workplace forced the Women’s Commission to shut down our facebook page.


The editorial is one thing – but hey, freedom of speech. The reaction? Quite another my dear sir. No questions, no dialogue, no discussion, nothing. 


Because APPARENTLY women’s health and contraception ARE TOO POLITICAL AND WE CAN’T POOOOOOOOOOSIBLY TAKE A STANCE ON THESE THINGS OR GAWD FORBID DISSEMINATE INFORMATION TO OTHER WOMEN.

And I want to discuss that, and have a conversation about that, and let y’all know that this SHIZ is happening in our back fucking yards, and to simply ADD TO THE SPOTLIGHT that THIS IS NOT OK.That THIS IS A BIG DEAL.

Sooooo that’s my life in a nutshell. Check back tomorrow for less serious, more green!

XX

Nikki

 

 

 

Anyways. I have to get back to it.